Strangeland
by SaveMarissa
Summary: After being left by the love of his life, Dan Humphrey moved far from New York City in an attempt to forget her. But what happens 20 years later when her daughter shows up on his doorstep asking for answers about the mother she never really knew? Future!fic, Dan/Blair.
1. Chapter 1

I wanted to get this published before the new season of Gossip Girl starts this October. I wasn't too pleased with how this past season ended, and I wanted to give Dan/Blair some of the closure they deserved. I was inspired by the song which is responsible for the title of this story because it is perfectly tragic, and I strongly urge you to listen to it at least once. There's a decent amount of time jumping in this story, so if it seems confusing at all, please let me know! Obviously I want to deliver the best story possible, so let me know what you think! I can't wait to read your reviews!

The story starts five years after the preface and goes back and forth after that. Also, it may seem like there won't be a lot of Dair action in the beginning, but there will be lots of flashbacks, so just stick with me. Okay, I'll shut up now and let you read :)

xxx

Preface:

"_Good evening, New York. It is 11 p.m. on this 17__th__ day of June 2028. I'm Karen Jones, here with tonight's top stories._

_Breaking news from the city tonight: business mogul Charles Bass and wife Blair Waldorf-Bass were killed tonight in a tragic automobile accident. The two were being driven home from a dinner in Manhattan when a semi driver lost control of his truck and slammed into the Basses' towncar. Mr. and Mrs. Bass were killed instantaneously. They are survived by their 15 year old daughter, who is reportedly in the custody of Mrs. Bass' longtime housekeeper. No word on who will replace Mr. Bass as CEO of Bass Industries or Mrs. Waldorf-Bass as head of Eleanor Waldorf Designs ."_

_xxx_

It had been 20 years since Dan first moved into that house. It was an escape, a breaking with the past, and yet, the past lurked around every corner. The doorway where they had stood to dodge the rain, the sofa he had placed her upon after she wrapped her legs around his waist and refused to let go, the dim light above the bed that made them feel open to the world, but protected the intimate secrets that passed between them.

Yes, Dan had bought the house to forget her. But he had also bought it so if one day, she chose to remember, she would know exactly where to find him.

But she wasn't the only one who would come looking.

The knock on the front door startled him. After all, the only people to ever visit him were the mailman and the electrician. The power in the house was shaky at best, but it fit the mood he always seemed to be in. Numerous times the electrician had offered to fix that light above the bed for him, but he always said no. He knew she found comfort in the darkness and he didn't want her ghost to vanish when he turned on the light.

As he made his way toward the door, he halfheartedly attempted to tame the disheveled mess atop his head, but it was to little avail. It didn't bother him much, though. The visitor would be gone in a second and he would return to his world where he was frail, but untouchable.

But, oh, how wrong he was.

"Dan Humphrey?"

The woman standing in the doorway looked to be no older than 20, and she looked oddly familiar. She was practically a reflection of the girl who once stood there with that same sense of apprehension.

And he knew exactly who she was before the words came out of her mouth.

"My name is Audrey Bass. I'm Blair Waldorf's daughter."

He was stunned. _Say something, Humphrey. Find out why she's here_.

"I…"

"I know it must seem strange, me coming to you out of the blue like this. I mean, we're strangers. But, I found some diaries of my mother's, and…" She stumbled, clearly feeling slightly embarrassed about just showing up at the house of a man she had never met and rambling like a fool. She composed herself and requested simply, "I'd like you to tell me about her."

xxx

When he would look back on this first meeting, Dan would barely remember letting her in the door or making her coffee with cream and two sugars. He would remember scolding himself for not cleaning up better, but then thinking, how could he have known that Blair Waldorf's daughter would show up on his doorstep? He forgave himself for the mess as he sat down on the couch across from the hand-me-down chair from a local thrift store that he offered her. He noticed her slight apprehension, and couldn't help but smile at yet another aspect of her mother shining out of her.

"Believe me, it's the safest thing in the house. Everything else was constructed by me and well…let's just say, the only good I do with my hands is with my writing."

She smiled politely as she took a sip of her coffee. "Now, I'm _sure_ that's not true."

She had Blair's mischievous eyes and he couldn't help the warmth he felt spreading on his cheeks. He cleared his throat, "So, uh, tell me about these diaries. What exactly did you read?"

"Let me just start by saying, I loved my father. He was a great man, and he left behind a great legacy. But he and my mother, well, they weren't exactly the images you saw in the paper, you know, the "great woman behind the great man" and all that."

Dan knew all too well. He didn't know how to tell this girl that her father had ruined the best woman he had ever known. He tried gently, "I'm sorry, Audrey, I just don't know if I'm the best person to talk to. I wasn't exactly your dad's biggest fan, and your mom, I…"

"You loved her."

He laughed nervously, "I did. Very much. But…"

"But what? You loved my mother, but I don't _know_ you! How can I trust anything she told me if there was this man out there that made her happier than my father ever could? How can I even know if_ I_ made her happy?"

"_I just need to know you'll be there for me."_

"_Always."_

Dan sat further up in his chair and looked in Audrey's eyes. She was tough, like her mother, but that didn't change the fact that she felt slightly unnerved by a stranger looking at her like he was practically trying to bore into her soul.

"You did. You have to believe me. You were the best thing in her life. Even after I stopped seeing her, she would call me on occasion and every other word out of her mouth was about how great you were. Everything she did, she did for you, Audrey."

She cast her eyes on the ground, clearly feeling guilty and Dan instantly felt the same. His goal wasn't to make this girl feel bad about questioning her mother's love. Rather, he wanted her to know without a shadow of a doubt that Blair's greatest love was for her daughter.

He sighed, "Okay, I have a deal for you. I'll tell you about her, but I want you to tell me about her too. The last time I saw her was years ago, but…" _She's always been here_, he wanted to say, but he didn't know how much Audrey had read of him, or of them. But the diaries she mentioned, they had to say something important. Why else would she have felt compelled to come all the way to Rhode Island to see him?

She nodded, "I can do that. I don't know if you realize how big of an impact you had on her, well, at least from what I can gather."

Dan collected himself and sat back up, "So, where should we start?"

"Were you guys friends in high school?"

He laughed, half scoffing at how far the question was from the truth and half imagining what it would've been like if they actually had been genuine friends during those years, instead of only sharing Serena as a connection. "No, not at all."

Audrey looked slightly confused, but pressed on, "Okay, what about in college?"

"_Thanks for bringing me, Humphrey."_

"_I would just like to think that if I needed it, somebody would do the same for me. Although, let's be honest, we both know it wouldn't be you. Oh, and no headbands in college, okay?"_

He smiled fondly, "Closer."

She seemed exasperated, "Well, you're gonna have to give me something, Humphrey!" Her hand instantly flew to her mouth, embarrassed, but Dan just smiled knowingly.

"Oh yeah, you're definitely your mother's daughter."

She stiffened, "I do take that as a compliment, you know."

He nodded, "As you should. Your mother was opinionated and bossy and _insufferable_, but she was also the most incredible woman I've ever met. And I'm laughing because she used to call me Humphrey, too." He offered her a small smile as a peace offering.

"Well then, _Humphrey_," she smirked, "where do _you _think we should start?"


	2. Chapter 2

This is probably the longest chapter I'll post, but it also contains the first thing I wrote for this story. This was originally supposed to be a one-shot, but I developed a whole story around an incident. Hope you enjoy!

xxx

After talking for a few hours, Dan watched Audrey drive away from the house, and that's when the sense of loss finally hit him. He had been without Blair for years, but when he thought about that day when Nate showed up to give him the news, it still felt like yesterday.

_Dan sat on the porch, watching the light rain fall. It wasn't falling as steadily as it had been when he and Blair had first visited or when she had come back after Audrey was born, but the rain always made him think of her nonetheless. But he knew she wasn't coming. She hadn't been there in years, and the final time she had left, Dan knew in his heart that it had been goodbye._

_That didn't stop his heart from skipping a beat when he saw the headlights beaming through the darkness. And then when the car turned into his driveway, Dan wasn't sure he would be able to move. He stood up cautiously, telling himself not to get his hopes up. It was probably just someone who was lost or one of his neighbors having car trouble. Tentatively, he stood at the top of the steps and watched as the car turned off and the driver's door opened. As the figure stepped out, he felt his heart shatter into a million pieces._

_It was Nate. And that could only mean one thing._

Audrey, as far as he was concerned, was Blair 2.0. Was he really ready to dig up these old memories, to hash out the wounds of his past with a stranger that looked like the girl he loved, but, as he had to keep reminding himself, was not her?

He stood on the porch like he had on that heartbreaking night, feeling the cool night breeze move through his way-too-long hair, and it was like she was there.

"_I care about you too, even if I have odd ways of showing it, like bossing you around or making fun of your hair. Seriously, you should cut it already._"

He smiled, even though the pain in his chest was killing him. There was a part of him that felt so incredibly sad at the loss of her. But he also knew Audrey had come into his life for a reason, even if he wasn't yet sure what that reason was.

xxx

That night, Dan found he couldn't sleep much. He was restless to talk about Blair, finally ready to have someone listen to his incoherent ramblings. It hadn't dawned on him how much he had been suppressing, how ingrained she was in his very _being_ that he hadn't even realized it.

That's why when he heard the knock on the door at 10:30 a.m., he tried to pretend like he hadn't been waiting all night to see Audrey again. He took a moment to compose himself and opened the door as casually as he could.

There she stood, the spitting image of the former queen of the Upper East Side, holding a medium sized brown bag in one hand and a carrier with two coffees in the other.

"I brought breakfast!" she proclaimed, sauntering into the house, "I didn't know if I would be waking you up, so I figured I should at least have something to apologize with if I did."

Dan thanked her and went to grab some paper plates for the bagels she had brought with her. They prepared their food quietly and when things were more settled, she sat with her bagel untouched and her coffee still closed up tight. He was through half of a bagel before he realized that she wasn't eating.

"What? Did I miss something?" he asked, attempting to choke down the bagel he had paused chewing upon seeing her silence. "Did you poison these? Was it like your dad's final wish to have you do this to me?"

She rolled her eyes, but laughed. "No, Dad never even mentioned you, actually."

Dan scoffed, taking a sip of coffee. "No surprise there."

"And I hate to break it to you, but Mom wasn't much better. The only times I ever really heard your name were in the phrase 'Dan's book.' She did always seem proud that you were a published author, though. Every time your picture appeared in the paper for some award, she'd always say, 'Look, Audrey, Mommy went to high school with him.'"

He didn't know what to say. He couldn't believe that Blair was actually the one to be bragging that _she_ had gone to school with _him_, and not the other way around. On the other hand, it was exactly like Blair to offer the sort of backhanded compliment that meant that she was proud of him, but only the "him" that was the boy she went to school with. Not the man she loved, or even the best friend. He was nothing but a photo in the yearbook to the girl sitting in front of him.

"So, what does that have to do with you not eating?"

"I'm just trying to figure out the best way to ask this," she admitted shyly.

"How would your mom have asked it?"

"Tell me about how you fell in love with her."

Dan was taken aback, but he had to admit, Blair Waldorf never waited around for answers, she went out and got them. Yet, it seemed odd. This girl knew next to nothing about him, and here she was asking for an account of how a shaggy haired recluse who wasn't her father became the love of her mother's life.

She attempted to add some context, "It's just that these diaries paint an extremely different picture of the 'Dan Humphrey, author' that I'm used to. I thought that Mom and I were close, but you make me feel like I didn't know her at all."

"Your mom played her cards pretty close to the vest. Sometimes, I thought that maybe I didn't really know her."

"So, let's just start at the beginning. And then maybe, we'll be able to fit the pieces of my mother back together so we can make her the whole, complete memory she deserves to be. For both of us."

Much like Blair, Audrey was wise for her age. Dan nodded, "Okay, but I've got to be honest. The beginning was not when I fell in love with her."

She smiled, "It rarely is."

xxx

Over the next few weeks, Dan tried to come up with every story he could about their high school days. He wanted to get those years over with because, admittedly, they weren't his or her finest, and he wanted to get to the good part: how he fell for her. He told Audrey about "W", about how Blair belittled him into oblivion, but he always came back for more because, strangely, he found himself liking it.

One night, Audrey was over for dinner. They were in the kitchen chopping vegetables and preparing the meal when her phone rang. She looked slightly nervous as she answered it and she excused herself from the room. However, the look had piqued Dan's curiosity, and he tried to listen to what she was saying as nonchalantly as possible.

"Alex, I know I said I'd only be here for a little while, but I'm just learning so much about my mom…I understand, just 2 more weeks, please? I'll video chat you tomorrow and we can go over some details, okay?...Please don't say that, there's not a story in the world that could keep me from marrying you. I know, I love you too. I promise, I'll be back soon. Okay, talk to you tomorrow."

She walked back into the kitchen and Dan hurried to look like he had been working instead of intently listening to her conversation.

"Maybe it wouldn't have been so obvious had you chopped up more than half a carrot."

_Busted_. Dan turned to face her, embarrassed, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been listening. It's none of my business."

She smiled, returning to the cutting board next to him, "It's okay, it's only fair that you should know something about me. I mean, I showed up here out of the blue asking you to tell me your most personal stories about you and my mom. So, you want to know my story, Dan Humphrey?"

He nodded, "If you want to tell me."

"Well, as I'm sure you've figured out, I'm engaged. My fiancé's name is Alex, and he comes from a great family. Our wedding is coming up soon so when I found my mom's diaries and just took off obviously he got worried that it was cold I really do love him, I just…" She sighed. "I don't know, I guess, after reading about what my mom had with you, I just had to know if it was the _right_ kind of love. I don't think she had that with my dad. I mean, I've heard all the stories of "_ChuckandBlair_", but they don't really compare to what I saw. Both my parents loved me very much and I could tell they loved each other, but it was almost like a love that was too hard to fight for."

Dan stopped for a moment. Finally, he turned to her, "And how do you feel about your love for Alex?"

She turned to him, "Mom wrote this thing in one of her diaries about 'pure and simple love'. Honestly, I can't think of a better way to describe my relationship with Alex."

He felt like he couldn't breathe. That was the Blair he remembered, not the cold, loveless, obligated Blair, but the girl who believed in fairytales and "happily ever after" and white knights. Suddenly, Audrey rushed into the living room and Dan was left in the kitchen, stunned out of his daydream. After a few moments, she returned with one of the diaries and handed it to Dan with a page marked.

"Tell me about this day."

He read the page: "_April 10, 2012: Dan and I got away this past weekend. Not 'away' as in Brooklyn or the Hamptons, but all the way to Rhode Island to this gorgeous cottage on the beach where no one knew us as Queen B or Lonely Boy. Just two people in love."_

Memories of that weekend came flooding back so fast, he had to sit down. He thought through the events of the past in an attempt to collect them into a story, and as he did so, he noticed Audrey putting away the preparations they had made for dinner. She turned back to the stove and eventually brought two cups of tea over to the table and took the spot across from Dan.

He began slowly, "That was the day I knew I would never be in love with anybody the way I was in love with your mom. That was also the day I realized I would lose her."

_It was Saturday morning. Dan turned on his side to face the girl lying next to him. She had stolen away to Brooklyn late in the night after a particularly bad evening. She couldn't take the way Serena was looking at her, like she had stolen her soulmate. She had moved on from Chuck, and she knew her best friend had moved on from Dan, no matter what epiphanies of love she was trying to spread to anyone who would listen. She couldn't take the guilt trips anymore. She had to get away._

_Blair was staring at the ceiling, her eyes fluttering open and closed. She tried to fight the sleep that desperately wanted to take her over, even though she could feel herself slowly losing the battle. However, she jolted awake when suddenly, he sat up and her head jerked to look at him, alarmed at his sudden movement. He looked down at her and for a moment, she thought something was seriously wrong. Then, he spoke._

"_Let's be married."_

_Clearly, she was still dreaming. "What?"_

_Dan had always thought that the sex games she played with Chuck were twisted and depraved, but truthfully, he often wondered what their relationship would be like if he and Blair weren't pigeonholed by Gossip Girl. If she wasn't Blair Waldorf: Queen of the Upper East Side and he wasn't Dan Humphrey, the Lonely Boy who would never do anything good enough to truly be one of them._

"_Let's just take a trip and rent some cottage for the weekend and pretend we're, I don't know, a newlywed couple on their honeymoon. For two days, we won't have to deal with Serena or Chuck or 'Inside' or any of that. It'll just be you, me, and the water. We can be everyone we've always wanted to be."_

_She sat up, and Dan could tell she was mulling the idea over in her head. Finally, she sighed, and frowned._

"_Dan, I've played games before and they never work."_

_He reached over to hold her hand, running his thumb over her smooth skin. "Please, Blair. If we hide out here all weekend, it'll be like we're ashamed of this, of us. If we take a trip, we'll be escaping. Getting our freedom back."_

_She leaned up and kissed him, almost as a test, like she couldn't believe he would really want to be alone with just her for a whole weekend. When she pulled away, she looked into his pleading eyes and she could tell he didn't just want this. He needed this._

_So, she commanded him to shower ("I'm not starting my fake life off with a husband who hasn't showered in two days") and when he emerged, she took his place almost immediately, slamming and locking the door like a woman possessed. Just as he finished getting dressed, he heard an unexpected knock at the door. _

_When he opened it, he was greeted by Dorota with four bags in tow. He helped her into the loft and placed Blair's things next to the couch. She smiled, "Miss Blair say you going on weekend getaway and she need supplies."_

_He nodded, "Yeah, Dorota, we are, but it would be really great if you could just kind of keep it a secret. I don't really want Serena or Chuck to get on her case about this, and if Gossip Girl found out…"_

"_My lips sealed." She smiled again and squeezed Dan's hand quickly, "You good man, Lone…Mr. Humphrey. You make Miss Blair very happy."_

_Dan smiled back, "I love her very much."_

"_Are you ready?"_

_Blair's voice came from behind Dan, and when he turned around, he saw her standing there in a professional looking pale pink jacket and skirt. However, the elaborate large brimmed white hat atop her head made Dan's smile break into a full-on grin._

"_Where do you even get this stuff?"_

_She walked over to him wearing a playful smirk, "A lady never reveals her secrets." Dorota made her exit as Dan walked quickly to the bedroom to pick up his small bag and before he knew it, they were on the road._

_xxx_

_When Rufus had moved to the city to be with Lily, he had left behind an old car that Dan sometimes used as a sanctuary to write in or to escape the constant whirr of Jenny's sewing machine when she still lived at home. He had also driven it a few times, when the pizza place he was craving didn't deliver, or when he had to go pick up a schoolbook that was only sold at one bookstore in the entire city, so it was in pretty good shape for being largely neglected._

_But "pretty good shape" was vastly different from Blair Waldorf's standards of acceptability._

"_There's no way in the world I'm getting in that thing."_

"_Oh yes you are, Mrs. Humphrey." Dan smirked as he signaled to her that they were supposed to be in character._

_She rolled her eyes, but opened the door and only slightly cringed at the creak the hinges made. "Think marital bliss," she muttered to herself as she closed the door behind her and Dan climbed in the driver's seat._

"_What did you say?"_

_She couldn't let him know that she had already immersed herself in the fantasy more than she was letting on, and wasn't actually as disgusted with the idea as she would've been when she first laid eyes on Serena's knight in shining armor from the wrong side of the tracks._

_So, she stared straight ahead as Dan began driving._

"_I said, you're going to pay for this."_

_He simply chuckled and put on a jazz station that appealed to both of them. As they drove out of New York and into Connecticut, he couldn't help but notice her fidgeting with her hairline. Finally, she spoke quietly, like she was telling an embarrassing secret._

"_Humphrey?"_

"_Yes, Blair?"_

"_I don't think this hat was such a good idea."_

_He wanted to burst into laughter. In Blair Waldorf's world, it was practically a cardinal sin to doubt one's outfit, and while a large part of him thought she was being silly and frivolous, an even larger part of him understood how hard she was being on herself. And he had promised her that the most important thing to him was her happiness._

"_You know, I look pretty good in hats."_

_She muttered under her breath, "When have you even worn one?" and yet, she reached up and took the hat off, placing it instead atop the mass of short curls on Dan's head._

_She sounded completely serious as she remarked, "Sadly, I think it actually improves your style", but Dan stole a quick glance at her and he could see her mile-wide smile and was instantly grateful that the mischievous little girl Dan had always thought she had been as a child was somewhere still inside of her. He kept the hat on, even though he knew he looked ridiculous and probably sexually confused to anyone driving by because he knew that it provided her with simple amusement._

_She flipped up the armrest that was situated between them and scooted next to Dan, laying her head on his shoulder and shutting her eyes. All too often these past few months, she had been having moments where all the chaos of her marriage, the accident, the miscarriage, Chuck, Serena, had suddenly come to weigh on her so heavily she sometimes thought she would stop breathing. And for so long, there had been no one there to understand, to just take some of the load off._

_Dan put his arm around her as she tucked her feet up underneath her on the seat. Completely vulnerable, she murmured, "Thank you, Humphrey."_

_He just smiled and squeezed her shoulder, "Anytime, Waldorf."_

_xxx_

_When Blair awoke, she instantly noticed the rain pelting the car from every direction. When she had shut her eyes, it had been sunny and she had been lying on Dan's shoulder._

_Dan! Her head instantly shot up from where it had been resting on the seat. She looked around for any indication that maybe they were just stopped on the side of the road, or a note suggesting he had gone to get help. She was just starting to get worried when the driver's door opened and he quickly jumped in, attempting to dodge the rain. But it was no use. He was soaked from head to toe and Blair simply couldn't control the grin that broke out on her face. His hair looked like a dog right after a bath and she couldn't help but laugh at the comparison she had once made to Serena._

"_**Like a princess kissing a Labrador."**_

_She stifled the laugh as he emphatically cleared his throat, "I got us a cottage. It's just a little ways down this road, and we don't have to share with anyone, but the owners said that most of the houses on this strip are old families who have been here for years. So, naturally, one way or another, they'll find their way into our business, so I figured we should wear these, just to keep our story straight."_

_He extended his hand and in his palm were two rings, one just a simple silver band, the other a smaller silver band with a round sapphire. She put her hand to her heart and tried to stop the fear from rising, but she couldn't help it. She was fine saying the words and playing the games Dan had been playing thus far, but here he was raising the stakes._

_And yet she took a moment and began to realize: she was Blair Waldorf. On the chess board, the queen is the most powerful piece. She doesn't sit around and wait for others to protect her. She goes out and conquers all that stands in her way._

_So, she sat up a little taller and replied pointedly, "That may be how you propose to girls in Brooklyn, but girls like me don't say yes to 'I figured we should wear these.' You can do better."_

_Dan was unmoved by her defensiveness. He knew it was just a front. But he was here to lay everything on the line, whether she liked it or not. And so he shook his head and whispered._

"_No I can't. And I never will."_

_They weren't talking about the rings anymore. In fact, Blair thanked every spiritual entity she could that the rain was so heavy that there wasn't a chance anyone could see inside the car because, after she slipped the ring on, they weren't talking about anything anymore._

_xxx_

_A little while later, Dan shifted his position on the backseat so he could lean against the door and Blair could slide her skirt back on. She rummaged around for her shoes before popping her head back up and looking at Dan, sated and happy, but still wickedly mischievous._

"_You know you're going to have to carry me into this cottage. There is no way these shoes are ever touching mud."_

_He feigned disgust as he climbed into the front seat to move the car to their destination, dressed only in his boxers, "Jimmy Choo himself would personally strangle me."_

_She sat up behind him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and murmuring into his ear, "I'm going to ignore how you know that, Humphrey, and just say that because you did, you're about to be rewarded extremely graciously."_

_He hummed satisfactorily, "Again?"_

_She chuckled low as the car crawled to a stop, "All night."_

_xxx_

_Once all of their things were inside the cottage, Dan and Blair were exhausted. They found their way to the bedroom and instantly collapsed on the bed. Blair kicked off her shoes, and attempted to unbutton her jacket but her arms felt like lead. She laughed exasperatedly._

"_I'm so tired, I'm in a strange bed with Dan Humphrey, and I don't even care about wrinkling my dress! What have you done to me?"_

_He laughed and rolled over, nudging her hands away and reaching for the buttons himself. He smiled and murmured, "Shut up, Waldorf" before kissing her to do the job himself. He simultaneously worked on her buttons and moved his lips along her jawline and down to her neck. She gasped and dug her nails into his shoulder, craning her neck to allow him further access._

_He pushed the jacket off her shoulders to reveal the top of her thin pink slip. He moved back up to reconnect their lips and reached down to pull down the zipper on the side of her skirt. She kicked it off and it joined her jacket and his discarded shirt on the floor. _

_Her nails ghosted over the skin on his stomach and she felt him involuntarily shiver as her hand moved toward the zipper on his pants. He moved his hand to steady hers and felt her short puffs of warm breath against his cheek. He raised an eyebrow._

"_You sure you want to go again?"_

_She raised an eyebrow, "You said we were newlyweds. What exactly did you think we were going to do out here all weekend?"_

_Dan loved that he finally had a woman who could match him intellectually and culturally. But at the moment, as he pushed her slip up past her thighs, he knew the connection between their brains was no longer the most important._

_xxx_

_They slept in well past noon and when Dan finally found himself waking up, he felt like something was crawling across his face. He wrinkled his nose and opened his eyes to see Blair peering at him, shaking her head and moving her hair back and forth across Dan's face. She laughed._

"_Morning, sleepyhead."_

_He loved her like this. No pretenses, no acting the part of Blair Waldorf, just a pure, honest, happy young woman. He hummed happily and leaned up to give her a quick kiss._

"_How long have you been up?"_

_She sat up against the headboard, pulling the sheets up over her chest. She looked down at him and Dan closed his eyes, smiling and mentally preparing himself. He had seen that look on her before._

_He was in trouble._

"_I can't believe what you made me do to my dress, Humphrey. It's completely ruined."_

_He looked at her quizzically, "Now, I'm sure that's not true. In fact, there's probably a dry cleaner out there somewhere that's been waiting his whole career to get his hands on a piece of Blair Waldorf's wardrobe."_

_She shrugged, "It's still an expense that could've completely been avoided."_

_He sat up, nuzzling her neck before moving up to whisper in her ear, "So what can I do to make it up to you?"_

_She turned to him and stared into his eyes. Then, she lightly shoved him away and smiled._

"_Breakfast. It's the least you can do."_

_He leaned forward and kissed her before she had time to object. Then, he reached down and found his boxers, pulling them on before heading downstairs to find something to eat._

_Blair lay contentedly in bed, just thinking about how much in her life had changed to get her to this point. It was a blessing, she was happy to admit, but it also scared her more than anything ever had. She begun to feel anxious, and worked to calm herself by breathing deeply and relaxing into the blankets and pillows around her. She felt herself calming down just as Dan was ascending the stairs with their meal and by the time he had entered the room, she was beaming smiles and bright eyes._

_He had no idea that a storm was brewing._

_xxx_

_After they finished eating, they got dressed and headed down to the beach. Blair set up the chair she had made Dan carry for her and reached for the magazine she had brought as she put on her sunglasses. Dan stood flabbergasted, staring at her like she had two heads._

"_Humphrey, are your freakishly wide shoulders and horrifying posture going to eclipse my sun all afternoon or just until your ghost white skin fries and you have to run back to the cottage for a sweater?"_

"_What are you doing?"_

_She took off her sunglasses and stared back at him, "What do you mean 'what am I doing?'? I'm spending a day at the beach with my boyfriend whose job it is to make sure I'm properly hydrated and turning a glowing bronze instead of a god-awful pink. And right now you're doing neither of those things."_

"_No, no. This is not how Humphreys go to the beach."_

_She was standing her ground, "Well I'm __**not**__ a Humphrey."_

_He just smiled, "Oh, but have you forgotten? For the weekend, you are. And you are disturbingly out of character."_

_It all happened so fast. Blair felt the magazine fly out of her hand, and before she knew it, Dan had her hoisted up over his shoulder. He was moving toward the water as fast as he could, but he had underestimated how difficult it would be to maneuver with Blair kicking and screaming in his grasp. When they finally reached the water, he cursed himself for not checking the temperature before he had dragged her into this._

_It was freezing._

_Her legs instantly went from flailing to being wrapped tightly around his waist. He felt her nails dig into his shoulder and he winced, both at the pain from her actions and the fact that the water felt like it hadn't been touched by the sun in years._

_As much as he knew she was never going to let him live this down, he realized one thing: he loved her so much it made everything in him hurt. Because Blair Waldorf was like sand slipping through his fingers, and trying to grab and hold on to it only made it go away faster. But here and now, with her wrapped so tightly around him he thought he might collapse, he could hold her and nothing in the world could deny the fact that in this moment, she was __**his**__. Helplessly and completely his._

_Her body began to shudder against him, and, in his head, he could already hear her complaining about frostbite and hypothermia and shouting "I don't know how they do things in Brooklyn…" Then, it dawned on him._

_She was laughing._

"_I haven't been in the ocean in years."_

_He turned his head, confused, and saw her pure, contented smile. "What do you mean? You went to the Hamptons like every year."_

_She clicked her tongue, "Just because I've been __**to**__ the ocean doesn't mean I've been in it."_

"_So, why don't you want to strangle me right now? Is your body impervious to temperature? Because this water is so cold I feel like I've lost the ability to have kids."_

"_We both know my body reacts to extreme temperatures, Humphrey," she said with a tongue-in-cheek wink, "And maybe you should think of it as a public service that your impossible, but certainly inevitably mop-headed children won't be subjected to anti-Brooklyn hazing."_

"_Well, I seem to have turned out all right. Plus, they could take comfort in the fact of knowing that one day they might be able to do this to an Upper East Sider." Dan bent his knees so that Blair's bare back touched the water. She shrieked and clawed at Dan's back in an attempt to move further away from the water. He laughed and stood back up so she was more protected._

"_Now, say you're sorry."_

_Her face suddenly turned somber and she avoided Dan's gaze. He instantly regretted his actions. Maybe he had taken the joke too far? Finally, she raised her head again and Dan swore he saw genuine regret in her eyes._

"_I'm sorry, Dan, and not just for what I just said, but for everything I did to you before. I was so mean when all you were was good to Serena, and Chuck, and Nate and all of us even though we had been nothing but horrible to you. I called you dirty and insulted your family and Vanessa…"_

"_She deserved it," Dan muttered angrily._

"_Not at the time she didn't. And your sister, she just wanted to be like me, and I just told her to go away. What I should have told her was that no one should want to be like me. I'm disgusting."_

"_Hey, look at me." Dan moved his hand to guide Blair's jaw toward him. "We were all people we didn't like in high school. You prepared Jenny more for the real world than any job or internship ever could have. You helped me see that just because people come from 'my side of the tracks', it doesn't mean they're honest or good or fair. You're smart, Blair, you always have been. You get what you want. I just can't tell you how lucky I feel to know that what you want is me."_

_She laid her head on Dan's shoulder, "The last time I was like this, my father was holding me because I was afraid of sharks. My mother sat on the beach, but my father, he wanted me to feel the ocean, not just to see it. He was with me, but he let me experience things on my own."_

_Dan felt Blair's legs loosen their grip and soon, he felt a small splash where her feet had entered the water. Her knees buckled slightly at the sudden temperature change, and he reached out for her arm to steady her._

_She looked up at him, standing on her own feet but holding on to his arm. She brought her other arm around his neck and moved in closer. She looked deep into his eyes and spoke with a quiet intensity, "You are so good, Dan. Thank you for being good to me, for being good __**for**__ me."_

_xxx_

_That night, they returned to the cottage, exhausted from their day in the sun and in the waves. Dan took a quick shower first just to get all the sand off, and climbed into bed as Blair got into the shower. He just listened to the running of the water for what felt like forever before it finally turned off. When she walked past the foot of the bed, Dan saw she was dressed in a small nightgown. He smiled as she climbed in next to him, almost bumping her head on the antique light that hung dangerously low from the ceiling._

_There they lay, him on his stomach and her on her back. He had draped his arm over her middle and his head was turned so that his forehead was resting against her shoulder and his eyes were closed. She could tell his breathing wasn't shallow enough for him to be asleep though, so she spoke softly._

"_Dan?"_

"_Hmm?" he hummed against her skin in response._

"_What are you thinking about?"_

_He propped himself up on one arm so that he was looking down at her, but his other arm still rested across her body. She was stunned by the intense look in his eyes as he spoke._

"_I love you, Blair Waldorf. And I regret that I can't say 'always have' simply because I was too stubborn and too self-righteous to see how wonderful you are. But I swear to you, I will work hard every day of my life to be able to honestly say that I always will."_

_Her eyes were shining as he leaned down to kiss her, slow and soft with no expectations of going any further. When he pulled away, she was on the brink of tears, but she managed to whisper, "I'll always love you too."_

_He should have seen it coming. Even then, she was saying goodbye._

Dan found himself barely able to read the words on the page. He knew Blair had written it that night, after he had fallen asleep. The diary read:

_It scared me more than it should have. Dan loves me so much. I can feel it in his hands, his eyes, his lips, his words. I hold him while we sleep and try my hardest to get so close that we're practically sharing the same skin. But there's this barrier between us that I just can't seem to break through. Can I not hold him because I'm holding on to something else? Because I'm holding on to Chuck?_

_xxx_

_The next two days were more of the same. Days at the beach, endless nights in bed. They had made up a backstory in the event that someone came snooping, but they found that they didn't really need it. They were practically alone since it was still early in the season. That didn't go unnoticed by Blair._

_When it was time to go, Dan packed up their things and moved them out to the car. Blair stayed inside, making sure nothing was forgotten, and when she had finished, she walked out on to the porch. She stood, leaning against one of the pillars, just watching Dan. He closed the trunk and walked up to her, smiling._

"_Hey, ready to go?"_

_He looked up and saw her expression. It was cloudy and dark and it scared him a little. He reached for her hand and asked, concerned, "What's wrong?" but she pulled away quickly. She held up her left hand and questioned him, "Why did you make me do this?"_

"_What are you talking about…?" He questioned her, but then he saw what she was pointing at: the ring on her finger. So he tried again, "I told you, we had to have a story for the people around here so they wouldn't pry. So it could just be you and me and…"_

"_I haven't seen a damn person since we got here, Dan! Why would you do this to me?" She was livid. After all that she had been through, she had thought she was with the one person who understood how badly she wanted to move on from her failed marriage. Yet, here he was, making her wear a ring, asking her to surrender to him completely so soon after gaining back her freedom._

_He reached for her hand again, and this time she didn't pull away. Her shoulders shuddered as she struggled to control her anger and to fight back her tears._

"_Because I wanted to know what it would be like if you were mine, __**really**__ mine. I don't want to go back there where you'll ignore me, or worse, belittle me. I am sorry. It was selfish, and I didn't put you first when I should have. I just…"_

_Her eyes were gleaming, "You love me."_

"_I want to be with you. Not just here, and not just now, but forever. And if there were even the smallest chance in this world that I could keep that ring on your finger, I would do whatever it took."_

_She let go of his hands and shook her head, "Dan, I can't." She walked down the path toward the car and was almost there when she heard him speak again._

"_Can't or won't?"_

_She sighed and turned slightly back toward him, "Let's just go." She continued walking and hopped in the car, averting her eyes from Dan's pleading gaze. He locked the door to the cottage and made his way back to the car. When they drove off, he couldn't help but notice how different the mood was than when they had first come. At that time, Blair had been completely trusting, her head on Dan's shoulder like it was the safest place in the world. Now, she felt farther away than ever, her forehead resting against the glass of her window, looking as if she couldn't wait to escape the confines of the car. He attempted to hold her hand one last time, but she ripped it away._

"_Stop acting like you can save me, Humphrey. You don't know anything about me."_

_He kept driving, focusing intently on the road ahead. His eyes were angry and he had nothing to say to the girl next to him. But she was determined to be heard._

"_Everyone has indiscretions. I won't be judged for mine."_

_Suddenly, Dan pulled over to the side of the road. They hadn't gone far, but they were removed enough from the cottages that it was only the small road and their car. He turned off the car and looked at her, and Blair found herself panicking at the intensity in his eyes. It wasn't that she was afraid. She simply didn't know what to expect._

_He spoke firmly, "I am __**not**__ judging you, Blair, and I'm not trying to fix you or save you. I am trying to love you. That's all."_

_She looked away from him and back out the window as she spoke quietly, "You don't want to love me."_

_He turned the car back on and slowly began to drive away. But not before he could respond, "Maybe I should be saying that to you."_

"We hardly said two words to each other on the car ride after that. I dropped her off at home, she kissed me goodbye, and I hated it."

"Because you had fought?"

He sighed, "Because I knew it was the end. After that, we were still together, but she was off with Serena and Chuck, and I got jealous. I tried to take her to Rome with me so I could have her all to myself. I'd never been that possessive before, I don't know what came over me. Then, Monte Carlo happened, and she acted like we hadn't. So, I moved back here as soon as I heard they were married. I just didn't want to be there when they got back, but I wanted her to know where I had gone if she ever needed me. I was a bit of a sucker for your mom as you've probably figured out by now."

The tears in Audrey's eyes made them sparkle, and he almost reached over to brush them from her face before stopping to remind himself that this wasn't Blair. He couldn't be like that anymore.

"Dan, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you. I mean, you loved my mom so much, and then you never saw her again?"

He sat up and cocked his head, confused, "What makes you think I never saw her again?"

"Well even I know that story. She went to Monte Carlo to get my dad back, and less than a year later, they were married with a baby."

"Just because she was no longer mine, doesn't mean I stopped being hers."

It was Audrey's turn to look confused, "This is gonna be a long story, isn't it?"

"You're here 20 years later for a reason."

She stood up and grabbed her purse, "Then, I'll see you in the morning, Dan Humphrey. A new chapter begins."

xxx

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	3. Chapter 3

Audrey finished spreading the cream cheese on her bagel before handing the knife over to Dan. He ate quietly and watched as she casually munched on a bite of her breakfast. She took a drink of coffee and asked a question.

"So, when was the first time you saw her after she left you?"

Dan smiled. The girl certainly didn't hold anything back. Ever since the first time she had shown up at his door, she had been nothing but straightforward, and while it scared Dan to bring up these memories, he also found himself enjoying it more than he had anticipated.

But now it was time for her to be surprised. She didn't know it, but the first time he saw Blair after everything that had happened between them was also his introduction to another girl who was quickly becoming important in his life.

He answered slyly, "The first time I met you."

_Dan walked out on his porch to grab the newspaper when he saw her. It had only been a year and a half, but she looked tired and small. He tried to control his anger at Chuck for making her this way, but what he was having an even tougher time fighting was how angry he was at her for allowing it to happen._

"_Hello, Humphrey," she said coolly as if they were back in high school and she felt an obligation to say hi because he was with Serena. But she had no obligation to be here. She had come because she wanted to._

"_May we come in?" She lifted the small carrier to indicate that they were not alone._

_He still didn't know what to say. So much had changed and yet, his heart still ached at the sight of her. He opened the door and motioned her in. She set the carrier down next to her on the couch and flipped open her compact to check her hair and makeup._

"_The roads coming up here are atrocious. I don't know how we managed to survive in that old heap of junk we first came in."_

_Her nonchalant attitude was really bothering him. He demanded, "Blair, what are you doing here?" and then gentler, pointing to the carrier, "And who is this?"_

_She softened, but still ignored his first question, "This is Audrey. She's my daughter."_

_Blair pulled off the blanket that had been acting as the baby's protection against the wind. Dan peered in and saw her staring back out at him, wide eyed and peaceful. His mind instantly raced to Milo and how desperately he missed him._

_He motioned toward Audrey, "Can I?"_

"_Are your hands clean?" She snapped, but the twinkle in her eye showed Dan she wasn't entirely serious. "I'm kidding, of course you can. I'm gonna go warm up a bottle and you can feed her."_

_Dan nodded and picked up the little girl as Blair took a bottle from her bag into the kitchen. She returned a few moments later, and Dan took the bottle from her. Blair looked on contentedly as Audrey drank happily. She struggled to fight the tears stinging her eyes as she took in the picture of her daughter being held by the man she had once thought could have been her destiny._

_She cleared her throat and Dan looked up. "The drive was really long and you know I don't really drive anyway, so I'm going to go upstairs and take a nap. If that's okay."_

_It was remarkably brilliant, but also completely unfair how Blair always had something to put between her and Dan to avoid the things that really needed talking about. Dan knew he should demand for her to stay downstairs, rehash everything that had gone wrong and try to find some peace. But the baby in his arms and the look on Blair's face simply wouldn't let him._

"_Sure. We'll be here."_

_xxx_

_Blair lay in bed for a couple hours, but she hadn't really come up the stairs to sleep. The moment she lay down in the bed all the memories of that weekend came rushing back to her. She tried to close her eyes to block them out, but that simply made them stronger. So she allowed them to take her over and selfishly let herself enter a world where she still loved Dan and he still loved her and he wasn't angry and she hadn't chosen Chuck._

_When she decided she had been upstairs for the appropriate amount of time, she started to make her way down the stairs when she heard Dan talking. She froze out of sight. She hadn't even bothered to ask if someone else lived here, mostly because she hadn't wanted to know the answer. Was it a girlfriend? Or worse, had Chuck found out where she had gone? She listened intently and within seconds, all her fears disappeared._

"_Your mom loves you very much. She has to since she named you after someone she loves, well, more than me, probably more than your dad. She's gorgeous, just like you and just like your mom. But it's more than that. She's iconic, unforgettable, which is appropriate because I don't know if I'm ever going to forget you, Audrey Bass. I'm so glad you're there for your mom. She really needs you, okay? Be good to her. I know she can be bossy and unreasonable, but she's passionate and smart, just like you're gonna be someday, and she knows what's best for you, I promise."_

_Blair leaned against the wall, and stopped to catch her breath. She wiped away the tears that were threatening to fall and finished coming down the stairs. When she got to the bottom, Dan looked up from the couch where he was rocking Audrey to sleep._

"_Have a good nap?"_

_Blair shook her head sadly. He shrugged, "Well, we never did much sleeping in there anyway."_

_He was gauging her reactions, waiting to see if he could get her to talk. Surprisingly, it worked. Sort of._

_Blair came over to him and picked up her now-sleeping baby, placing her back in the carrier. Then, she turned back to Dan and slowly straddled him, one of her legs curling up on each side of his body. This gave her a slight height advantage over him, which she remedied by leaning down and capturing his lips with hers. He watched her, confused at first, waiting for her next move, but then his eyes slowly closed and his body fell into the all-too-familiar rhythm he had with her not too long ago. His hands instinctively moved to push her closer and she made a small noise of surprise at his sudden aggression._

_He moved from her mouth to her jawline and she stretched her head back to give him open access to the porcelain skin of her neck. She moaned low as he bit softly near her collarbone, and he felt her body practically turn to putty in his hands as he flicked his tongue over the raw spot he had created. Dan had never been the type to look at the women he made love to as his 'property' or anything like that, but he couldn't help but feel a sense of power from essentially marking his territory._

_And that's when it dawned on him. She wasn't his anymore. He was marking another man's territory._

_He pulled away as if he had received a sudden electric shock, and when Blair looked down at him, her lids were heavy with lust and she desperately whined, "Why are you stopping? Been so long you forgot how this works?"_

"_I can't do this."_

_He prepared himself for the full Blair Waldorf assault. Even now, she wasn't used to not getting what she wanted. She had always hated Dan telling her no, but this was the final straw._

"_You can't __**do**__ this? Do you have any idea of what kind of hell I'm living in? You said you'd always be there for me, Dan! Were you lying?"_

"_No, Blair, I wasn't lying, but it's not my job to save you from the hell __**you**__ created. You left me behind! I wasn't going to just chase you around like a sad little puppy dog you decided you didn't want!"_

"_So you decided to hole yourself up in this cottage like the sad little puppy dog who __**wasn't**__ wanted?" she snapped._

"_You __**didn't**__ want me," he bit back angrily._

_She threw her hands up, exasperated, "I do now!"_

"_It's too late now!" he spat out and suddenly, they were snapped out of their fight by the sound of Audrey crying. Blair huffed and climbed off of Dan's lap, rushing over to pick up her baby and comfort her, "Great, Humphrey, now look what you've done."_

_He shook his head and sighed, "Unbelievable."_

"_What?" she snapped._

"_When I first saw you today, I thought, 'Finally I'm going to get some closure.' But you never change!"_

"_You wouldn't still be in love with me if I did!"_

_Dan was shocked. Had she really just said what he thought she said? Judging from her frozen stance, the tears welling up in her eyes, and the fact that she was seemingly deaf to the fact that her child was still wailing, he knew she had._

"_Oh, Blair."_

_He knew it was pathetic, but he couldn't help it when she looked like that, so desperate for someone to help her. Even though she had told him once that he couldn't save her, he always felt the need to try. He rushed over to her and put his arms around her, holding her like he would never let her go. She leaned into him, sobbing, and he rubbed her back with one hand, whispering, "Shhh" both to her and __to Audrey, whose carrier he had begun to rock absently with his other hand._

_She talked quietly, her head still lying on his chest, "I can never forgive myself for the way I left you. And the worst part about it is that I just fell into this life where leaving isn't an option."_

_"You can always leave."_

_She sniffed and moved away from him, attempting to regain her composure, "No I can't. One of my parents left and I never got back the relationship we had before. I can't do that to Audrey."_

_Dan was frustrated, but he didn't want to fight. Audrey had fallen back asleep, so he stopped rocking her and simply turned to face Blair, calmly explaining, "She's just a baby, Blair. She doesn't even know him."_

"_**You don't think it would **__**matter that my baby **__**is **__**another man's child**__**?"**_

_"**It wouldn't to me."**_

_She looked so sad, and suddenly, Dan wished he could put his arms back around her and hold her until all the pain went away. She spoke mournfully, "All I can say is I'm so sorry for what I did. I fell in love with you, Dan. And I was so focused on running away from it because I was scared that I guess I forgot to fall out of love with you. That may not be the closure you're looking for, but I think that's the best I can do right now. But I'd like to come back sometime and try again. If you'd have me."_

_Dan's heart broke all over again. It was painful to see her like this, to know she was unhappy, but to go forward not knowing anything after this point would be impossible._

_"I'll take you any way I can."_

_"Good," she finished as if they had just closed a business deal. She reached for a tissue to wipe her eyes and then she gathered all of their things together. Before putting the blanket over her daughter's carrier, she asked lightly, "Can you say goodbye to Dan, Audrey?"_

_The baby rambled incoherently and Blair smiled sheepishly, "We'll work on that one."_

_Dan smiled sadly and nodded. He reached around to give Blair a one-armed hug and kissed her forehead. He pushed open the door and murmured quietly, "Drive safe, okay?"_

_She nodded in response and walked off to the car to strap Audrey in. She looked back once more before driving away, and then they were gone._


	4. Chapter 4

_September 28, 2013._

_Every nerve inside me has been on fire since the last time I saw Dan. I think Chuck can sense something is different, but I don't care. I thought I could do this without him, but I can't. I need him. And I need him to tell me he needs me. I've waited long enough for things to change._

Audrey handed Dan the diary and pointed to a day before turning back to her phone to send a quick text. He read over the page and when she looked back up, he looked nervous.

"Are you sure you want to hear about this?"

She sighed, impatient, "My dad was never faithful to my mom, Dan. I'm not stupid. And I'm not judging her for not being faithful to him. I just want to know her better. I want to know her as a woman in love. She never got to meet Alex. I guess I'm just wondering what she was like when she felt like me. It might be the closest thing to advice that I can get from her."

_The second time she came back, it was raining, just like it had been the first time they had come. Dan was sitting in the house finalizing a new draft when he saw headlights through the window. He went to the door and, upon seeing that it was her, immediately rushed outside into the pouring rain. She was barely out of the car when he put his hands on both sides of her face and kissed her passionately. She reached behind her to steady herself on the frame of the car door with one hand and instantly latched on to his soaking wet t-shirt with the other. When they broke apart, she gasped at the sudden lack of contact. Before she could say anything, he had to tell her everything he had been thinking since the last time he saw her. He had to practically shout over the rain, but he knew he had to be heard._

_"I want you to know that there will never be another girl for me, Blair Waldorf. You have ruined all women for me, but I would take the you I can't have over the ones I can have every time. I want you to know that there is never a day I regret falling in love with you and that if anyone ever tells you that you are anything less than perfect, they are absolutely out of their minds. I want you any way I can get you for the rest of my life, even if it's only a day or a weekend or even an hour. In that time, I want to tell you you're beautiful so many times you get sick of it. I want you to know that every time you go home and he's there taking you for granted, I'm here waiting for you to come back, staring at the door just hoping you'll come rushing through, breathless and wild and just...just totally waiting for me too."_

_She shook her head helplessly, "Dan, I love you! That's what I came back here to say! I made a choice, just like I've made all my choices, in the hopes that I could have some semblance of control over my life but it was so wrong! The one thing I cherish most, being with you, falling in love with you, it wasn't a choice at all! It wasn't then and it isn't now!"_

_"You love me?" he asked for simple clarification and she scoffed, annoyed. Did he hear nothing else she said? Then he smiled and Blair realized he wasn't clarifying anything at all. He just wanted to hear it again. So, she smirked and shouted back._

_"I regret that I can't say 'always have' simply because I was too stubborn and too self-righteous to see how wonderful you are. But I love you, Dan Humphrey, and I always will."_

_He nudged his head toward the house, "Come show me how much."_

_Never one to back down from a challenge, Blair slammed the car door and grabbed Dan's hand, pulling them toward the door. He started to open the door to the house to let them in when she quickly shut it. She laughed and Dan was having a hard time remembering that there were other things in the world besides Blair Waldorf's smile._

_"I want to kiss you in the rain, Humphrey! Are you gonna let me or are you just gonna stare at me all night?"_

_Dan pushed her against the door frame and instantly connected their lips. His hands frantically moved up and down her body, fearful of stopping too long in one place and missing something else. She snaked her hand around the back of his head to pull him closer and grabbed a handful of his too long, soaking wet hair. She moaned, relishing in the powerful feeling the action gave her. Chuck's hair was short and always full of gel, but Dan's was rough and real and oh-so-right. He smiled into the kiss as her hands began to push up his shirt, indicating it was no longer necessary. She threw it in a heap on the porch and began to work on his belt when he moved slightly away from her. She groaned and tried to reach for him again, but he swatted her hands away._

_"Now, Waldorf, that's not very fair. I could catch pneumonia."_

_Normally, Blair Waldorf would have had a perfect witty comeback, but in that moment she was having a hard time arguing with Dan, and suddenly, he could see why. She was leaning back against the door frame, practically panting, looking at him through hooded eyes. Her chest heaved up and down and Dan could see the outline of her crimson lingerie through her soaked dress. It quickly hit him that Chuck probably hadn't made her look like this in a very long time. It was then that Dan knew he would make sure she was completely and thoroughly satisfied that night, no matter how long it took._

_"Let's go inside."_

_"Please," she practically begged and Dan saw that she was reaching for him. Rather than simply guide her through the door, he reached underneath her and scooped her up until her legs wrapped around his waist. He shoved the door open with his shoulder and she kissed his hairline and around his ear before playfully nibbling on his earlobe and practically purring, "My Brooklyn brute."_

_Dan couldn't remember the last time he had been this happy. He grinned at her, "God, you're so sexy."_

_The laugh that bubbled from her throat was the sweetest sound Dan had ever heard. She looked down at him and stroked his hair, and it was like time stopped. No matter what happened tonight, they both had this unadulterated moment of intimacy. Her eyes shone, not only with desire, but with love._

_He lifted her slightly before laying her down on the couch and then swiftly reached behind him to turn off the lights. He returned his attention to her body and began peeling her dress from her skin as she writhed beneath him, arching to meet his hands that weren't even trying to touch her. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to concentrate, but all he could focus on were her breathy whimpers and traveling hands._

_"You need a manual, Humphrey?" she said, raising an eyebrow._

_"You would find a way to insult me, even in the throes of passion."_

_"Keep talking about the 'throes of passion' instead of giving me what I want and you'll see insulting."_

_Now it was his turn to be challenging, "Oh? And what is it exactly that you want?"_

_"I want you to fuck me."_

_She didn't even miss a beat, and Dan realized he had never heard such a nasty word leave her polite, proper lips. _

_It only made him want her more. _

_He moved his hand down her body, brushing his knuckles over her stomach and making her shudder. He stopped at her panties and laid his palm flat._

_"Last chance because once I start..."_

_"Jesus, Dan, do you need an invitation?"_

_He was driving her crazy, and as she propped herself up on her elbows to look at him, she noticed his smug smirk. She couldn't help but think that the look that would've once driven her crazy with irritation was now threatening to take away all of her self-control._

_He teased her, "It's been a while, you know. I'm not sure I exactly remember which way to go."_

_Suddenly, the Blair Waldorf that infuriated him in high school emerged. She was dominant, strong, and prepared to get what she wanted how she wanted it. And Dan couldn't think of anything sexier._

_She demanded, "Down."_

_He smiled and replaced his hand with his mouth, using his hand to pin down her thighs. He tugged at her panties with his teeth and realized he'd do just about anything to keep her under him like this for the rest of his life._

_Her wish was his command._

_xxx_

_Later that night, Dan and Blair had managed to make their way up to the bedroom where they had first stayed when they had been young and in love. When all they cared about was getting away from everyone who had a reason why they shouldn't be together._

_Dan, clad in only his boxers, sat up and reached into the nightstand. From inside, he grabbed a pack of cigarettes and a lighter and began smoking. Blair looked at him, bewildered._

"_Since when do you smoke, Humphrey?"_

_He shrugged, "It's just something us tortured souls do, I guess."_

_She stared at the ceiling, not wanting to meet his gaze, "So, you started after I tortured your soul. Can you get any more cliché?"_

_The question had come out a lot harsher than she had meant it and for a few moments, they sat in awkward silence. It was the first time it had been like this since they had become friends. Blair never felt uncomfortable in front of Dan and vice versa, but so much had changed them from the people they used to be. He sighed heavily, blowing a large puff of smoke into the air._

"_I should hate you, you know."_

_It was her turn to sigh. "I wish you would. It would make things so much easier."_

_He laughed, a dark laugh that made Blair uneasy. The laugh was grim and hopeless, two words she never would have used to describe Dan Humphrey._

"_Would it really?"_

_She sat up and crossed her arms, irritated, "Can you put that out?"_

_Finally, he turned to look at her, and she found herself wishing he hadn't. His eyes were serious and intense and she wanted to scream for the Dan she knew and loved to come back. But maybe, she thought desperately, maybe he wasn't there anymore._

"_Why?"_

"_Because I don't like it!"_

_There was that laugh again. He reached over to the ashtray on the nightstand and extinguished his cigarette before leaning against the headboard next to her, but not looking in her direction._

"_You don't like it. How funny."_

"_Dan…"_

"_You want to know some things that I don't like? Spiders, god, I hate those. Um, let's see…when people borrow a book and they bend it too far and crease the spine. I'm not a fan of that. Oh, and you know what else? When I tell someone I love them and they don't even have the decency to say __**anything**__ in response. Or when they hightail it off to Europe to reunite with someone who used them like property and kicked them around to make them seem worthless to anyone else without so much as a 'Goodbye' or an 'I'm sorry' or even a sappy, ridiculous piece of bullshit like 'It's not you, it's me.' I don't like that at all."_

_She held his intense gaze and spat back angrily, "I don't like who you've become."_

"_Well, obviously you didn't like who I was enough to stick around, so what should I do, Blair? Who can I be to make you stay?"_

_She reached for his hand, and surprisingly, he didn't pull away. He looked as if he were a balloon and all the air had been let out of him. The anger was dissipating the longer she held his hand, so she ran her thumb back and forth over it soothingly._

"_Be the man who met me at the car tonight. Be the man who would risk everything just to tell me in the pouring rain that he loves me. Be Dan Humphrey, the man I love."_

"_And what if I can't do that?"_

"_Try harder."_

_He sighed and chuckled exasperatedly, squeezing her hand back before letting go._

"_God, Blair, you just…you make me crazy, you know? It's actually insane how much of my day is spent just thinking about you, and wondering where you are and if you're happy, and to have you with me right here, right now, after wishing something like this would happen for so long…I guess I don't know how to react. To think that every minute that goes by is a minute closer to you leaving? I can't bear it."_

"_Oh, Dan." She leaned over and kissed him, laying her hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat. When they broke apart, she offered him a small smile._

"_Let's get some rest."_

_He looked worried, "I don't want to sleep."_

_She thought for a moment, and then offered a compromise, "Then let's just lay here. I've missed being in your arms."_

_He pulled her closer and just held on, and almost instantly, those same feelings from the beach returned. Here she was again, real, yet elusive, and it frustrated him. How had it gotten like this?_

"_Why did this happen to you?" he whispered._

"_Don't," she warned._

"_Don't what?"_

_He could hear her breath hitch, "I don't want to be that girl to you."_

"_What girl?"_

_She sat up and looked at him, and he could see the tears forming in her eyes. She took a deep breath to steady her nerves and attempted to explain, "At home, I'm nothing but Chuck's whore. But when I come here, even after everything I've done to you, you put me on this pedestal, and I'm afraid if I tell you everything, you'll stop looking at me that way. I don't want that for you, and I really don't want it for me."_

_He kissed her softly and then pulled away, bringing his thumb up to brush the stray tears that had escaped, "I look at you like that because I know you are better than you tell yourself. You've been beaten down, but you're not broken, Blair, I promise. I just want to know how you got this way. I want to know how to make it better."_

_His arms were on either side of her, keeping her safe, and she brushed her fingers absentmindedly up and down from his elbow to his wrist. Finally, she looked up at him and answered honestly._

"_You scared me, Dan. No one's ever loved me the way you did…the way you do. And even though I was in the darkness with Chuck, it was a darkness I was familiar with. As stupid as it sounds, he was safe. So I flew to Monte Carlo to fight for him, and yeah, for weeks, it was great. We were the great love we always had been. But we were just as careless as we always had been, and when I found out I was pregnant, I became someone he __**had**__ to marry, not someone he wanted to."_

"_I'm so sorry."_

"_I just need to be able to come here when things get to be too much. I need this to be my safe place. I know it's not fair, but you're the best thing to ever happen to me."_

_He let her words sink in and nodded slowly, "Okay, let's get some sleep." Dan lay down and brought Blair down with him. He didn't want to sleep because he didn't want to lose any of the precious time he had with her. But what she needed most was rest, a break from the life she had chosen. And if that was Dan's responsibility, he was willing to do whatever she needed._


	5. Chapter 5

Hope you're all enjoying so far! Again, I just really want to stress how important reviews are to me! I'm really happy that so many people are reading, but it would be awesome if you could tell me why, especially if you keep coming back for more :) Thanks!

xxx

Over the next couple of weeks, Dan told Audrey of every time he could think of about Blair's years of trips to the coast. She had gotten a room at a hotel just a few minutes away, even though Dan had offered to sleep on the couch if she had wanted to crash with him. However, after thinking it over, both of them realized the situation had the potential to be just a tad strange.

They didn't talk much about Audrey, but when she showed up one night, she found a surprise waiting for her: a cake that read "Happy Birthday Audrey." She smiled as Dan walked into the room, his nose in a book. He looked up and his face instantly brightened, "Hey! There you are!"

"What's all this? My birthday's not for two weeks."

He held up the book before putting it down on the table and picking up a knife to cut the cake with, "Well, I was reading your mom's diary that you left here and she wrote this entry right around my birthday, which got me wondering when yours was. So I did some math, and I figured it was around this month. I didn't try to think too hard about it because…well, no offense, but I really don't want to think about your conception."

She laughed, taking a plate of cake from him, "None taken. Thank you though, this is really sweet!"

"You're welcome. I wanted to get you something, but it's been a while since I've been around someone your age…well, since I've been around anyone really. But I figured everyone likes cake."

"Dan, you've already gotten me the best gift I could've possibly wished for. You've made my mom a whole new person for me. A better person."

"Audrey, she was always good, I promise. She was just in a lot of pain."

She finished her cake and set the plate down, "No, I know, I just…she was pretty closed off. I knew she loved me, but I really only knew her as a mom. I love getting to know her like this."

"Well I'm glad I could help."

"So, what did it say?"

Dan picked up the plates and placed them in the sink, "Huh? What did what say?"

Audrey pointed to the book, "The diary. What was your birthday like?"

"Uh…" he chuckled nervously, "Certainly not as happy as this one. In fact, it was the last time I ever saw her."

Audrey looked shocked, like perhaps she had pushed a boundary, "Oh my god. Do you want to talk about it?"

He nodded, "You'll have to bear with me, though. This is gonna be a tough one."

_Dan hadn't been this excited about a birthday in years. It was his 30th, and Blair was coming for the whole weekend. Chuck was in London on business and Dorota, ever Blair's confidant, had agreed to watch Audrey so the two of them could have the weekend to themselves._

_He was stacking his never ending drafts in a neat pile on his coffee table when he heard the knock at the door. He had to resist running over and taking her in his arms the second he saw her._

_But when he got there, it wasn't the feeling of love that overtook him. It was the feeling of dread._

_Standing right in front of him was Chuck Bass with two not-so-nice looking men in suits on either side of him._

_"Hello, Daniel."_

_Dan didn't think he could be more stunned. That was before one of Chuck's "friends" landed a punch right on his jaw. His knees instantly buckled, and he felt like there were people on all sides of him. One was kicking his ribs, the other continuing his assault on Dan's face. Chuck yelled, "Enough!" and the men backed off._

_He knelt down in front of Dan and hissed, "Do you think this is a game, Humphrey? I've already won."_

_Dan was straining to catch his breath, but he turned to look Chuck square in the eye, even though he could barely keep his own open. _

_"Maybe, but you have no idea what she's lost."_

_The rage flared in Chuck's eyes and he landed one last punch on Dan's temple, which caused him to crumple to the floor clutching his head. Chuck simply stood up and straightened his coat, walking out of the house and instructing the men to follow. Dan heard his phone ring, but he couldn't muster the strength to get it. He simply lay on the floor, praying that Blair would come walking in at any moment. He needed her now more than ever._

_xxx_

_An hour later, Blair's car pulled up to the cottage and she stormed up to the door, fully prepared to give Dan a piece of her mind. She had called him in the hopes that he would want to go to a fancy dinner to celebrate his special day. She had made the reservation and had been calling to tell him to get ready for fear that they would be late and lose their table. She was furious that he was ruining her plans, but all her fury dissolved when she walked in the door and saw him on the floor, propped up against the couch, breathing heavily and clutching his ribs. She threw her purse down on the chair and rushed over to his side._

_"Dan! What happened?"_

_He sighed, "Guess London didn't really pan out."_

_A look of realization washed over her face and she instantly felt sick. She stood up and hurriedly went into the kitchen. She returned a moment later with an ice pack, which she held over one of his rapidly forming black eyes. Tears welled in her eyes as she reached to hold his hand, the one that was clutching his side._

"_I'm so sorry I did this to you."_

_He gave a small smile, "Hey, __**you **__didn't do anything. Every white knight has to have an adversary, right?"_

_She shook her head and chided him with a sad smile, "Delirious Dan. Let's get you to bed before you try to start a jousting match in my honor."_

_He looked concerned, "But what about my birthday? I'm sure you had something special planned and I'd hate to ruin it."_

_This was how right it could have been. She could have had the man who was bloodied and bruised, and still wanted to make __**her **__happy. Instead, it was so wrong. Everything she had thought she had wanted her whole life came down to this moment where she thought maybe she didn't know herself at all._

"_All that matters is that we're together. It can't get any more special than that."_

_She stood up and helped him to his feet. He put an arm around her shoulder and they slowly climbed up the stairs. When they arrived at the bedroom, she helped him lie down and grabbed some supplies from the bathroom to begin cleaning his wounds as best as she could. He closed his eyes while she went to work._

"_I'm going to take you someplace really nice for your birthday. Maybe that fancy restaurant down the road you're always saying you want to take me to. That would be great, don't you think?"_

_No matter what she decided, whether she knew herself or not, there was one person who always had. He began to doze off, and she whispered, so as not to disturb him, "It's a date."_

_xxx_

_After she had made sure Dan was asleep, Blair crept out into the hallway to make a phone call. She sat down at the top of the stairs and took a deep breath before dialing the number she needed to. He picked up on the first ring._

"_I take it you got my message."_

_She spoke low, through gritted teeth, "I hate you."_

_He spat back at her, "Did you really think I was going to continue to let you make a fool of me, Blair?"_

"_Why shouldn't I? That's exactly what you've been doing to me since the day we got married! You don't love me, you just want to show me off like some prize you've won!"_

"_And he just wants to keep you for himself! Is that what you want? To be kept in the Humphrey trophy case for the rest of your life?"_

"_And if it is?"_

"_Then so be it. But I'll be damned if you think you're walking out of here with any of my money."_

"_I don't want your money, Chuck! Do you really think that's what makes me happy?"_

"_Clearly not since you're obviously so fond of slumming it. So what does make you happy? What is the one thing that I could take from you that would tear your world apart?"_

_And then she heard it: the soft cooing of a small child. She gasped, "You wouldn't. I'm her mother!"_

"_You're a whore, and I've got all the evidence I need to prove it," he hissed before ending the call. She leaned back against the wall, dropping her phone to the floor. Then, she began to cry. It felt like her whole world was imploding on her. If she lost Dan, she wouldn't know what to do, but if she lost Audrey, she would feel guilty for the rest of her life for choosing a man over her daughter._

_Dan walked to the doorway and looked down at her. He groaned as he came to sit next to her, still nursing his ribs, but there was something about her pain that made his seem utterly insignificant. He put an arm around her shoulder and she looked up at him desperately, eyes shining with tears._

"_Tell me what to do, Dan."_

_He just sighed, "There's nothing I would love more than to know that you've walked out the door and left him forever, but it's not about just me and him anymore. I can't ask you to pick me over her."_

_She calmed down, but Dan could still hear the tired sadness in her voice, "I just hate feeling guilty for wanting to be happy. No matter what I do, someone gets hurt."_

"_She needs her mother, Blair."_

_All those months ago, she had told him that he was the best person she had ever known, and he had never disproved it. Here he was, letting her go as he held her in his arms. And yet, it still wasn't making her feel any better because she had a nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach._

"_But what if I need you?"_

_xxx_

_The next morning, when Dan woke up, he remembered the two of them eventually making their way back to bed the night before, but when he opened his eyes, the bed was empty next to him. He decided he would get ready for the day and then find her. The night had been long for both of them, and truthfully, he wasn't sure he was quite ready to see her yet._

_After Dan showered, he finished getting dressed and headed downstairs to the kitchen. When he walked through the doorway, he was greeted with a sight that broke his heart every time. Blair Waldorf, preparing to leave. Except this time was so much different. The stakes had been raised, and Dan had a sinking feeling that he no longer had the odds on his side._

_She was sitting at the table with a cup of tea, staring out the window. She absentmindedly moved the spoon in her tea back and forth._

_Clink. Bing. Clink. Bing._

_The sound was deafening._

"_Can you stop?"_

_The question came out a lot harsher than he had meant it, and as he watched her jump, both because he had startled her and because he had yelled at her, he wished with everything he had that he could take it back. But now, it was out there, and there was no turning back. He didn't want to admit it, but he knew this was the beginning of the end._

"_Humphrey! I had kind of a rough night. I think I'm allowed to make some noise."_

_He scoffed, "Yeah because my night went so great. I don't know if you remember this, but it was my birthday yesterday and we didn't get to do __**anything **__because I got attacked and now you're sitting here so hurt and timid and…_

"_Weak?" He could tell she was hurt, and as the tea grew colder, so did her eyes. "Is it weak for me to need you like this? You want me to be stronger? Fine."_

_The spoon clanged loudly as she dropped it and pushed her chair away from the table. She grabbed her coat from the hook by the door, and swiftly picked up her purse on her way out. Immediately, he chased her, and he called to her from the porch as she deftly moved down the walkway._

"_Blair, stop!"_

_She did, although she didn't turn around to face him. He ran down the steps and gently pulled her around to face him. Her eyes were having a staring match with the ground, and he realized she didn't intend on looking at him any time soon. So, he ducked his head down and captured her lips with his. He coaxed her head up, all while never breaking contact. She reached for his arms, but didn't move to pull them around her. She kissed him like she was letting go, and he kissed her like he wasn't going to let her._

_She broke the kiss, and he allowed it, only because he desperately needed to steady his breathing. They stood there for a few moments, foreheads touching and eyes closed, just taking each other in for what Dan knew in his heart was the last time._

"_I love you, Dan. But it's not enough anymore."_

"_Blair, please." He hated how weak he sounded, but there was nothing he could do to stop it. Last night, he had thought he had reconciled himself to the fact that she had to leave, but today was a whole different story. He found himself struggling to hold on to any hope that she could stay._

"_Whenever I'm with Chuck, I'm always that little girl leaning over the toilet, trying to control something in a world where I'm __**nothing**__. You've made me strong, but coming here, teasing you with something that we both know can't be? It's weak and it's selfish and you deserve better."_

"_But I don't want better. I want __**you**__." He was pleading now, not far away from dropping to his knees and groveling at her feet. "Dan Humphrey, look at you now." He knew that's what his high school self would condescendingly sneer at him. But he didn't care. The reason there had never been anyone else, the reason there never would be, was standing right in front of him telling him that she was about to become a thing of the past._

_She spoke quietly, "You want who I used to be. But I can't give you that. I can't even give myself that."_

"_What you give me is enough. I love you, Blair."_

_She sniffled and a small warm smile graced the same face that had such sad eyes. "I'm not the girl for you, Humphrey. It's time I let myself realize that. I need to grow, and I can't do that if I always have you to run to. Being under Chuck's spell is like being in a prison, but being under yours? It's torture. And I know that because it's torture for you too. You just handle it better because you __**are**__ better. I only hope I can be as good as you one day."_

_Instinctively, he reached for her and she fell into his arms like an old habit. He squeezed her tight and tried as hard as he could to stop the hard sobs that shook her body. He had to remain strong because he knew he wouldn't let her go if he didn't. And he had to. It was selfish to keep her like this, always coming to him at her low points. She had to find the high points on her own._

_He turned so that his mouth was hot on her ear and he felt the shivers the closeness evoked in her. He muttered in a low voice, "Blair, you are the best person I have ever known. And when you go, write this down, I don't care if it's on a napkin or a ticket or a mirror, write down that you __**are**__ loved and you __**are**__ enough and no matter what __**anyone**__ says to convince you otherwise, you __**are**__ good. Read it every day and soon, you might even forget that it was me who said it, but never forget that it is true."_

_She was still wracked with tears, and Dan would've stood out there forever, holding her and whispering it like a mantra._

_You are loved. You are enough. You are good._

_But Blair Waldorf always found a way to compose herself, and when the time came, she separated herself from Dan Humphrey with just one last long, slow kiss goodbye. And then, before he knew it, she was gone._

_Dan walked into the house, and instantly fell to his knees._

_When Blair arrived home, she rushed into her daughter's room where she saw her sleeping in her bed. She sat on the edge and whispered to her._

"_You are loved. You are enough. You are good."_

_The little girl sniffled in her sleep and Blair cried._

Audrey looked like she had seen a ghost, and that's when she stood up and lifted her shirt, revealing a tattoo scrawled on her side in what was obviously Blair's handwriting.

_Loved. Enough. Good._

He looked up at her face and Dan saw the tears in her eyes.

"My mom never told me where those words came from. I always just thought she found them in a book or a poem or something. But she said them to me every day. She loved you so much, Dan. She never stopped."


	6. Chapter 6

"So, you never saw her again. But did you talk to her?"

By that time, it had grown dark, and Audrey knew she should have left for her hotel long before that, but she felt like she couldn't get enough of the stories Dan had to share. She sat, curled up in a chair and nursing a cup of tea and looked at Dan on the couch across from her. He looked so tired, older than when she had first met him, even though it hadn't been that long ago. He nodded absentmindedly, looking off into the distance as if remembering a treasured memory.

"Yeah, I never thought I'd ever hear from her again, but when I heard her voice, it was like I came alive again. I promised her that I'd always be there for her, and that night, she needed me, and so did you."

_It had been years since he'd seen her when the phone rang that night. He rolled over groggily and looked at the clock: 2:30 a.m. He reached for the phone and saw that it was her. Immediately, he sat up and tried his hardest to wake himself up._

"_Hey, what's wrong?"_

_She sighed, and although Dan knew she was trying to keep herself under control, he could tell by the strain in her voice that she was on the verge of tears. He heard Audrey crying at the top of her lungs in the background._

"_I'm sorry. I shouldn't be calling so late."_

"_Don't worry about it. I'm up doing some writing." He felt bad for lying to her, but it seemed to take some of the edge off of her voice._

"_It's just that Chuck's out of town, not that that really matters when it comes to our daughter, and Dorota's been trying her best, but Audrey's sick, Dan, and she won't stop crying, and I just…I don't know what to do."_

"_So, you called me to ask for advice? I'd love to help, but I didn't really have Milo for that long, and..."_

"_I'd call my father-in-law for parenting advice before Dan Humphrey," she snapped. He was about to snap back when she spoke again, quieter._

"_I called to ask for a favor."_

_He took a deep breath, wary of what she was going to ask. He knew it must be important if she was willing to risk her pride in the middle of the night to ask something of Dan Humphrey. He had already given her so much, but deep down, he knew that he would still give her anything._

"_What is it?"_

"_Will you sing to her? I tried, but I don't think she can hear me over her screaming, and I think Dorota's Polish lullaby frightened her even more. I figured since your dad was in a band, albeit a cheesy 90s one, you might have some musical inclinations."_

_He smiled. Her request was better than he could have ever expected. There was no grand gesture involved, just a desperate mother trying to soothe her child._

"_Sure. Put it on speaker."_

_Blair placed the phone on the table beside Audrey's crib and he began to sing "Imagine", the most peaceful melody he could think of. He heard the baby's cries get fainter by the second, but he sang the whole song, and by the end of it, the other end was silent. He thought that Blair had hung up on him when he heard a small click and realized she had closed the door to the baby's room._

"_Lennon to a baby? Really, Humphrey, I think you were born in the wrong decade."_

"_Well, you know me, always in the wrong place at the wrong time, wooing the wrong girl."_

"_Hey, that's my daughter you're talking about, you creep."_

"_You know it's not."_

_The line went silent again, but he waited for her to return. He heard her breathing on the other end and suddenly, he heard her breath hitch. He knew she was crying._

"_Everything is so wrong, Dan."_

"_I know, Blair. It's all wrong here too."_

"_Did I wake you?"_

"_It's fine, I don't sleep much."_

"_Because of me?"_

"_I…"_

"_Because you're the reason I don't sleep. I just thought you should know that, after what I did to you, I'm still thinking of you every day."_

"_Then why is this the first time you've called? And why hide behind an excuse?"_

"_It wasn't an excuse. You heard her crying."_

"_And now I hear you crying. What's going on, Blair?"_

"_Can I ask you for something else?" Dan was stunned by her abrupt change of pace, and he knew she had planned for the conversation to go this way. She believed that if he was caught off-guard, he would be more likely to bend to her will. But the truth was, even now, he was willing to give her anything she needed._

"_Of course."_

"_Will you sing to me?"_

_By then, Blair had made her way back to the bedroom she shared with Chuck when he wasn't away on his endless business trips. She had gotten comfortable under her covers with the phone still pressed to her ear. But when Dan gave her the answer she wanted to hear, she placed the phone down carefully on her nightstand and put it on speaker once more. He sang quiet and low._

"_When the rain is blowing in your face  
And the whole world is on your case  
I could offer you a warm embrace  
To make you feel my love_

_When the evening shadows and the stars appear  
And there is no one there to dry your tears  
I could hold you for a million years  
To make you feel my love_

_I know you haven't made your mind up yet  
But I would never do you wrong  
I've known it from the moment that we met  
No doubt in my mind where you belong_

_I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue  
I'd go crawling down the avenue  
There's nothing that I wouldn't do  
To make you feel my love_

_The storms are raging on the rollin' sea  
And on the highway of regret  
The winds of change are blowing wild and free  
You ain't seen nothing like me yet_

_I could make you happy, make your dreams come true  
Nothing that I wouldn't do  
Go to the ends of the earth for you  
To make you feel my love"_

_For a few moments after he was finished, the line was quiet again. Then, Dan heard the phone move and a familiar voice._

"_Thank you, Mr. Dan. She sleep well tonight."_

"_You're welcome, Dorota. Good night."_

Dan found that, while telling the story, he had been singing the same song to her daughter as he had sung to Blair that night, and when he looked over at the chair, he noticed that her tea had been discarded and her eyes were growing heavy with sleep. He got up and laid a blanket over her and her eyes jolted open upon realizing that she was falling asleep. She stared intensely into his eyes and he felt unnerved.

"Please come home, Dan. Meet my family, come to my wedding."

"Audrey, I…"

"If not for me then for my mom. _Please_."

Dan never intended on returning to the city to face the horrible memories he had left behind. He had never dreamed on being back in the city where the love of his life had suffered and pined to return to the cottage where she had felt safe and loved and free.

But there were a lot of things he had never intended to do, coming to care so much for Blair's daughter being at the top of that list. And the promise he had made to her mother all those years ago held true for Audrey as well.

"Okay. Let's go home."


	7. Chapter 7

It all happened so fast. One minute, he was shaving his face, throwing clothes in a bag, trying to look presentable in order to impress Audrey's family-to-be. The next, he was clutching his bag and feeling as nervous as he had every time he had taken that all-too-familiar elevator when he and Blair had dated. The Waldorf penthouse had been left to Audrey and she had been living in it with Dorota, Vanya and their children ever since Chuck and Blair had passed away.

When the doors opened, Dan had to catch his breath. It was just like he remembered it. Dorota came around the corner, grinning brightly and holding out her arms to receive him. He smiled back and dropped his bag, walking into her hug.

"Lonely Boy! Oh I'm sorry, it's been too long, I forget you no longer Gossip Girl fodder."

He just laughed, "It's okay, Dorota. Been a long time since I've heard that nickname."

"You have long drive. I get you something to drink."

He nodded and she briskly walked off to the kitchen. Audrey raised an eyebrow and looked at him with a teasing smile, "Lonely Boy?"

"Oh please, you want me to believe you haven't done any independent research on me?"

Audrey spoke casually, "Well, I mean, I had to make sure you weren't a _total_ weirdo. So, yeah, I guess I know a little about your Gossip Girl days."

"And you don't hate me?"

"Everyone makes mistakes, Dan. Yours aren't unforgivable."

Dorota returned with drinks for the three of them and they moved to the couches to talk. Audrey and Dorota talked a mile a minute, catching each other up on everything that had been happening in their lives. Dan couldn't help but zone out slightly, looking around the room and being hit with a memory everywhere he turned.

"Dan?"

He snapped out of his daydream and turned to see Audrey and Dorota both staring at him expectantly.

"Hmm? Sorry, I was just thinking."

Audrey smiled, a mischievous glint in her eye, "I was just saying that you should probably get dressed. We have to leave for dinner soon."

"Dressed?"

"We're having dinner tonight with Alex and his parents. I really want them to meet you! I feel like all I do is talk about you nonstop to Alex, so I want you to meet him."

Dan was wary. He had no problem talking with Audrey, after all, she was Blair's daughter. But someone completely unrelated who he had never met? He wasn't sure how well their relationship would be able to be explained to her fiancé. But Audrey's eyes were practically pleading with him, and he was always a sucker for a Waldorf woman in distress.

He sighed, "All right, what do I need to wear?"

Audrey practically clapped with giddiness, "I laid out a suit for you on the bed in my mom's old room. Take your time in there."

Dan walked up the stairs and found the bedroom. He put the suit on and studied himself in the full length mirror. The room looked much different from how he remembered it since most of Blair's things had been discarded or moved elsewhere. Still, the mirror remained and he remembered standing just like this all those years ago, and suddenly, he could almost feel a set of arms wrapping around his middle, smiling at him, satisfied and loved.

"You raised some kind of woman," he said to her, and although no one was there, he could practically hear her laughing at him, knowing his words were completely true. And as if on cue, Audrey appeared, poking her head in the door and smiling at him, "Ready?"

"You're some kind of woman," he repeated as he made his way to the door to join her. She just laughed, "My mother would've accepted nothing less."

xxx

They arrived outside Alex's parents' apartment a lot quicker than Dan was prepared for. He stood outside their door with Audrey and found himself intercepting her hand when she lifted it to knock on the door. She looked at him quizzically. He sighed, "Sorry, this is just...I feel weird. Are you sure you want me here?"

She smiled, "Of course, Dan! You've become a huge part of my life and they're all dying to hear about how we became so close. Now relax but quit slouching. And straighten your tie."

"You're an evil dictator of taste, Audrey Bass," he muttered as she knocked on the door. When it opened, an elegant looking blonde woman appeared and Dan couldn't believe his eyes.

"Lola?"

She looked startled, not expecting this stranger to know her name, but as soon as the recognition set in, her smile brightened.

"Dan, oh my god! Nate, get in here! You'll never believe who Audrey brought to dinner!"

Audrey was left utterly confused as Dan moved to hug Lola. Alex suddenly appeared behind them, breathing heavily. He kissed Audrey on the cheek and reached for her hand.

"Sorry I'm late, had to run down to the store. What's going on?"

"Apparently a reunion!" Audrey explained, standing back from the group and still trying to figure out the connection between all of them. Nate had slapped Dan on the back before hugging him and the two of them were laughing and talking excitedly. Lola noticed that Alex had arrived and smiled warmly.

"Hello, sweetheart! Did you know about Audrey's friend?"

"Know what, Mom?"

"Oh my god," Dan spoke aloud and he realized that everyone was staring at him after he made his revelation vocal. He just chuckled and shook his head, "A Waldorf-Archibald wedding."

Nate just laughed, "When we said it was destiny, we weren't wrong."

Lola put her hands on her hips in playful annoyance, "What are we still doing standing out in the hallway? Shall we continue this blast from the past over dinner?"

"Sorry, darling," Nate kissed Lola's cheek and led the guests in. Dan was much more relaxed than he had been before the door had been opened for them, and as they sat down to dinner, he couldn't believe how much he had missed his friends.

xxx

After dinner, Dan went to stand on the roof of Nate and Lola's building to catch his breath. It had been wonderful to see them again after so long, but it was definitely exhausting. He had to step away for a few minutes to collect his bearings. He looked out on the city and thought about the life he had once lived there. He was so lost in thought that he didn't hear the door to the roof open behind him. It was only when her hand gently rested on his that he realized someone else was there. He gave her a small smile.

"Just had to get some air. I certainly did not expect that." He gestured toward the door.

Audrey laughed in response, turning around so she was leaning against the ledge, facing away from the view, "You're not the only one. Eight million people in this city and I had to marry the one that's related to your friends."

They chuckled quietly and fell into a comfortable silence, Dan looking out at the city and Audrey looking up at the stars. Eventually, he looked down at the ledge, and spoke tentatively.

"I suppose I owe you an explanation."

Audrey shrugged, "I think I pretty much got it. You went to school with Nate, knew Lola after college, not much else to say really."

He just shook his head, "It would take me years to tell you how valuable Nate has been in my life, but the best story to tell you is probably the most painful."

Suddenly, she looked concerned as she met Dan's gaze, and he sighed, "Nate was your mom's person."

She moved from concerned to confused, "I don't understand…'person'?"

"_We should have someone to tell the other one if something happens to either of us. Otherwise, every time could just be the last time we'd see each other, and we'd never know why."_

"_What an uplifting thought, Humphrey. Do you enjoy being this morose?"_

"_It's comforting to be realistic, Blair. How would you feel if this were the last time you ever saw me and you never knew why?"_

_She spoke quietly, "What if I don't want to know why?"_

_He turned to face her on the bed and held her hands in his, "Well, I do. So, I'm going to tell you this now that I'm going to pick a person, let's say, Mrs. Henderson next door. And you'll know that if Mrs. Henderson ever calls or, god forbid, shows up on your doorstep, that's it. The book is closed on you and me."_

"_You should probably pick someone younger, unless you don't plan on living past next Tuesday."_

_He frowned, "I know what you're doing."_

"_Fine," she huffed. She thought for a moment and then turned back to look at him, "Nate. I'll tell Nate."_

_He smiled and pulled her back so she was lying against his chest, "That's a good choice." He could feel her nodding as she responded, "But just so you know, __**I**__ plan on controlling the last time I see you. And I don't see that day coming any time soon. So, I think you're just stuck with me, Humphrey."_

_He kissed the top of her head and felt her defenses slowly coming down, "Here's hoping ,Waldorf."_

Audrey nodded in understanding, "So then he must have come to you when it happened. What was that like?"

He spoke sadly, "It was supposed to make our lives easier, knowing that we were living with certainty. But the certainty that came with that day was the worst feeling I've ever felt. I would've rather waited for her forever. I didn't know that then, though."

_As soon as Nate stepped out of the car, Dan's hand flew up to cover his mouth, which had dropped open in shock. Years had passed since the last time he had seen his former best friend, and although his aging was apparent, he still had the same boyish blonde hair all the girls at Constance had swooned over. Dan couldn't help noticing how jarring the difference between the playfulness of Nate's hair and the somber seriousness of his all black suit and sad face was. Dan slowly made his way down the couple of steps leading up to his porch. He shook his head._

"_No, Nate, it's got to be a mistake. Please just tell me she's sick or…or…I don't know, in a coma or something, please anything but…"_

_Tears shone in Nate's eyes, "Dan, I'm so sorry. She said you'd know what it'd mean if I was here."_

_Dan felt himself stumble, like someone had knocked the wind out of him. He reached out blindly and grabbed ahold of Nate's arm. Nate pulled him into a tight hug and Dan couldn't help himself. He began to cry hard sobs that were practically choking him in their struggle to escape. He rambled incoherently and Nate simply let him, being the rock that he had promised Blair he would be if something like this were to happen. When Dan finally pulled back, his eyes were bloodshot and he only had one simple question._

"_How?"_

_Nate sighed, "Let's go inside. I'll tell you everything you need to know."_

_The two men walked in silence up the steps, across the porch and through the front door. Dan found himself attempting to go through the motions of being a good host, but he was so numb._

"_Do you want tea or…"_

"_Dan." Nate was compassionate, but firm. He motioned toward a chair, "Sit down." Dan did what he was told, sitting on the edge of the couch. Nate took the chair across from him and pulled a newspaper out of his jacket. He put it down on the ottoman and slid it over to Dan. The first thing he noticed was the bold headline: "__**The End of Bass Industries?**__" accompanied by a picture of the company's headquarters, as well as a view of Chuck and Blair's towncar, smashed in and surrounded by police tape. _

_Dan sniffed and muttered angrily, "Of course, all they care about is the business."_

"_I thought you should have that, just so you could know the truth from an objective point of view. But you should know she didn't suffer."_

_Dan's eyes flashed angrily, "Didn't suffer? She's been suffering every day for the last fifteen years, Nate!"_

_Nate's eyes were sympathetic ,"I know, and I'm sorry for that. She and Chuck, everyone thought it was the right thing, but…we were wrong. You're the only one who really knew her, and she had to turn you away. Most of the time, she wasn't the powerful Blair Waldorf we all knew and loved, but whenever she came back from seeing you, I got to see glimpses of it. She'd come over and tell me all these stories about the things you did and what you talked about and man, her smile would be a mile wide. You made her the happiest."_

"_And what good did that do?" Dan was trying not to be rude. He was just so, __**so**__ angry._

"_You and Audrey were the best things for her. Without you, I don't know if she would've been happy at all."_

_Dan felt so guilty. Here he was, wallowing in his own self-pity and allowing his loathing for Chuck to take over what really mattered: a suddenly orphaned girl._

"_How is she?"_

_Nate seemed surprised by the question, but answered matter-of-factly, "Audrey's being taken care of by Dorota. Blair made sure they would be comfortable."_

"_That's for the best. I'm sure Dorota loves her like she loved Blair."_

_Nate nodded, "She's an amazing young girl, Dan. You should come back to the city and meet her."_

"_I've already met her," Dan muttered, "and I'm not coming back to the city."_

"_Why?"_

_Dan felt himself getting choked up again and he struggled hard to keep the tears at bay._

"_Because the one reason that could have brought me back is gone. And eight million people can't change the fact that there's only one I'd ever want to see, and she's not there."_

An idea struck Dan like lightning. He stood up and Audrey looked shocked, wondering what he was thinking. He turned to her with a determined look in his eye. He squeezed her arm absentmindedly and started to walk away, but not before cryptically informing her, "There's somewhere I need to be."


	8. Chapter 8

I just want to thank all of you have reviewed so, SO much. It really means the world to me. We're nearing the end, so I just wanted to let you know that I really appreciate it.

xxx

Dan felt as if every nerve in his body was on fire as he quietly padded across the grass in the cemetery. He was still wearing his suit and tie, and was studying every headstone carefully to make sure he found the right one. Finally, he came upon it.

_Blair Cornelia Waldorf-Bass_

_November 15, 1989-June 17, 2028_

_Devoted mother, wife, and daughter_

For a moment, he just stared. He had come with the intention of talking to her, and only now did it really dawn on him that that would be all he would be doing: just talking _to_ her. She wouldn't be able to talk back, to give him the answers to all the questions that had gone unanswered for so long.

He started shakily, "Hi, Blair, it's Dan…Humphrey. Um, that's stupid, of course you'd know it's me…anyways, um, I brought you peonies, and I'm glad I did. It doesn't look like anyone's been here for a while. Not to make you feel bad or anything. Uh…"

He placed the flowers in front of her headstone and sat down across from it. For a minute, he just played with the grass, picking it up out of the ground and laying it on a neat little pile next to him. Then, he tried again.

"I noticed you're not next to Chuck. I guess even in death he considered himself more important than just 'the man who got to be next to you.'"

He cleared his throat. He wasn't here to bash Chuck, but he was here to talk. Maybe he was getting out every little thing he never realized he wanted to say.

"I'm sorry. I guess even when you're not here you make me nervous. I came because, well I'm sure she's told you all about it, but I've actually become really close with your daughter. She's an amazing girl, Blair. You'd be really proud of her. She reminds me a lot of you, and I've been able to say a lot of the stuff I never got to say to you to her. I don't know if I really believe in higher powers or people watching over us or anything like that, but I'd like to think that you've heard me. And I want you to know, and I hope you knew this while you were still here, not a day goes by when I don't love you as strongly as I did that day you ripped that stapler from my hand and changed my life forever. And I really miss talking to you, Waldorf."

"That was really nice."

Dan's head shot up and he attempted to brush the tears from his eyes before any of them could fall. Maybe Blair _was_ listening, and now that he had said all the things he needed to say to her, he realized that there was someone else he needed to forgive.

He turned around and saw her standing there, obviously older, but still the same youthful, golden-haired beauty she'd always been. She smiled sympathetically and he noticed the familiar headpiece dangling in her hand.

"Where did you get that?"

"It was with some of Blair's things that Audrey let me have," she replied simply, and then added, "I know you gave it to her, Dan. I just thought she might want it back."

"_I just thought that you should get to feel like a princess one last time."_

"_Thank you."_

He nodded, but reached out to take it from Serena. "I actually think I have a better idea for it, if you don't mind."

She shrugged and easily handed it over, "You have more of a right to it than I do. Hell, you have more of a right to _her_ than I do, so if you want me to leave…"

20 years ago, Dan couldn't have dreamed he would be one day having this conversation with Serena, the girl who had started off as everything and then slowly crumbled away to nothing. Back then, he was bitter, angry, and so full of loss. But now, he was just tired.

"No, stay. Sit down." He motioned toward the small blanket he had brought with him that had gone unused. She seemed to relax a little, and came to sit next to him.

"I'm sorry if I seem…strange. I just haven't seen you in so long, and I guess I'm not really sure what I should expect. The last conversation we had was over 20 years ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday. I'm so sorry I hurt you."

"I was too hard on you. We were both to blame. I was scared of losing her, you were scared of losing me…"

She sighed, "And in the end, that's what happened anyway. Me losing you, I mean. You never lost her."

Part of that was definitely true. He had had Blair in a capacity that he never expected he would. Of course, that came at the price of her loveless marriage and an unhappy life.

"Do you think it would have been better if I had?"

She questioned him, "Better for who, Dan? You gave her light where Chuck took it away, and she gave you inspiration and in the end, a pretty good friend from what I hear."

She smiled, and he knew she was talking about Audrey. He nodded, "She's amazing. Spitting image of her mother, heart of gold. It's really been incredible getting to know her."

"Getting to say all the things you never got to say to Blair?"

He shook his head, "There wasn't much I didn't say to Blair. But it is nice for someone else to know about us. Makes me feel a little less like a recluse in the woods with a made up soulmate."

She smiled sympathetically, "_I'd _like to know about you…if you'd want to tell me."

He raised an eyebrow, "You sure about that?"

She looked as if she was choosing her words carefully, and Dan eagerly anticipated her answer.

"I think I always had this feeling that because I was your first love, I was entitled to you whenever I wanted you. But I've come to realize that being your first doesn't mean I was your greatest. The way you loved her wasn't ever easy, Dan, but I've learned that very few things in life are both easy _and_ worthwhile."

"I said to her that I would always be there for her. Do you think she sent Audrey to me as a test?"

Serena replied, "I think she sent Audrey to you as a way of saying thanks. As a way of saying she'd always be there for _you_."

xxx

After leaving the cemetery, Dan was on a mission. He took the elevator up to the Waldorf residence, keeping one hand tucked inside his jacket as Audrey came floating down the stairs. His heart skipped a beat upon remembering all the times Blair had done the same thing. He especially loved remembering those times when she had done it when they were together. Before the summer that had changed the nature of their relationship forever.

Audrey seemed surprised, but pleasantly so. She was a firm believer in the tradition of the bride and groom spending the night apart before their wedding, so she hadn't been expecting any guests. "Dan, what are you doing here? I have to get my beauty rest for tomorrow!"

He cocked his head and gave her a crooked grin, "Oh, please, you could have a sleepless night and you know you'd still be the most gorgeous bride in all of Manhattan."

She shrugged but smiled, "Well, I do take after my mother. So, seriously, what's up?"

He explained, "Well, I came to give you a gift. And I know this type of thing is supposed to be done by your bridesmaids or whoever, but I just thought you might need a little 'something extra.'"

Dan pulled his hand out and offered Audrey the tiara.

"I gave this to your mother years ago before she married your father. There's a great story behind it, but if you don't have the time…"

"Please!" she motioned over to the sitting room couches and sat eagerly across from him. He couldn't help grinning at just the memories in his head. As he told her of how Blair realized her fairytale with Louis, only to discover it wasn't at all what she really wanted, he could still see her standing on the Met steps in the white jacket and elaborate pink dress. He could still hear her practically whisper,

"Thank you."

That's when he realized he wasn't dreaming any more. He looked at Audrey and saw her eyes shimmering with tears, and it dawned on him that she was the one who had spoken.

He smiled and stood up, preparing to leave, "You're very welcome."

He turned to make his way back toward the door when he heard her again.

"Dan, wait!"

She rushed over to him, wide-eyed and expectant, blurting out the question she had been too scared to ask for weeks.

"Will you walk me down the aisle?"

He smiled and hugged her so tightly her feet came up off the ground for a quick second. He put her down, and she saw something in him that she only got to see when he was immersed in a story about Blair: genuine joy.

_March 5, 2028_

_If there's anything I want in this world for Dan, it's happiness. I don't know if I ever brought him any, but I sincerely hope I did. I just can't bear the thought that I wasted his time. When I think about how he used to smile at me as I came up the walk, there is nothing in me that will allow that to be true. I was good for him. I have to believe that._

xxx

"_I think about it, you know."_

_Dan moved to grab a cigarette and leaned back against the headboard, jostling Blair slightly. She readjusted and laid her head back on his chest. He lit it and sat the pack and the lighter back down on the nightstand._

"_About what?" He exhaled, blowing smoke away from her._

_She wrinkled her nose, "I told you I don't like it when you do that."_

"_Why? Because Chuck can smell it?"_

"_Because it's __**bad**__ for you," she said firmly, then softer, "because I know it means you're in pain."_

_He reached over and put the cigarette out almost as suddenly as he had reached for it in the first place. He brought his hand back and began lazily stroking up and down her arm._

"_What do you think about, Blair?"_

"_About what it would've been like if you and I had been the ones walking arm in arm towards that priest instead of…well, instead of the mess I'm stuck in."_

_Dan ignored the comment about her marriage. He had long stopped trying to talk her out of staying with her husband, so he turned his attention to the other part of her statement._

"_Except we wouldn't have been walking together. You would've had Harold on one arm, and Cyrus on the other, and I…"_

_She sat up and stared straight at him, "You would've been waiting for me."_

_He leaned forward and kissed her once, bringing his hand up to wipe away the tears that had started falling down her cheeks._

"_I'll always be waiting for you."_


	9. Chapter 9

So, we've reached the end. I really appreciate all of your reviews, they have helped me so much! If anyone knows where else I could post the story to get more feedback, I would really appreciate any suggestions. Hope you like the ending!

xxx

The next day, Dan stood in the back of the church, pacing. He looked toward the altar where Alex stood waiting for his bride. Nate walked to meet him, concerned.

"What's taking so long? I think Alex is going to pass out if he has to wait much longer."

"Sorry, man, you know girls. They're all up there though. I can hear their chorus of giggles from down here."

Nate frowned, "Dude. Don't say 'chorus of giggles.' It's weird."

"Weirder than this?" Dan made a motion like he was going to attack Nate with a giant bear hug, but Nate playfully dipped and dodged out of his grasp. Suddenly, they heard a door open and Dan quickly shooed Nate away from the area. Lola came down the stairs first, beaming.

"She's ready."

"Good, I think your son's about to have a heart attack."

She reached up to straighten Dan's collar, "Well, he just better calm down and get used to it. That's what you men are supposed to do, wait for us for…" Abruptly, it dawned on her that she was talking to a man who had waited for a girl all her life only to lose her for good. But Dan just smiled.

"Always."

She smiled back, "You're a good man, Dan Humphrey. Anyone ever tell you that?"

"Yeah," he admitted quietly, "someone who looked a lot like your daughter-in-law."

"I think my daughter-in-law looks a lot like _her_," Lola corrected, and then added, "I hope Blair's here for you today."

He squeezed her hand and assured her, "Blair's always here for me. Always has been, always will be."

Lola and Dan shared one last smile and then the mother of the groom made her way to join her husband inside the church. He looked back up to the room where Lola had come from and the bride herself appeared before his eyes. She descended the spiral staircase, and seeing her in that dress took him back to a conversation he once had.

"_If we had gotten married, it would've been in a church. I would've wanted to tell the whole world you were mine with God as my witness."_

"_Please, Humphrey, you're not even religious. And if you are, I'm sure it's because you belong to some weird Williamsburg cult."_

"_Hey, this is a fantasy. Mind if we cut out the insults?"_

"_You dreaming up a different girl too?"_

"_Fine. A church overlooking the beach and I would've worn a black suit with a black tie."_

"_Oh, how original. Is this really how you daydream?"_

"_Well, if it's so easy, why don't you try it?"_

"_A strapless white floor length bell shaped dress with a mesh skirt with a solid white hem. Like Julia Roberts in 'Runaway Bride.'"_

"_I'm shocked. That's hardly classic cinema, Miss Waldorf."_

"_I __**am**__ a modern woman, Humphrey. That's why my mom, Cyrus, my dad and Roman would've all been sitting down. I would've wanted to be the only one walking toward you with a bouquet of fresh peonies in my hands."_

"_You wouldn't want either of your dads to walk you down the aisle?"_

_She shook her head, "You're the only one who's ever really accepted me for all that I am. Why would I want someone to give me away who didn't really know what they were losing?"_

When Audrey finally stepped in front of him, Dan was speechless. She was wearing almost the exact dress Blair had once described to him, and he thought perhaps Audrey had read Blair's dream in one of her diaries. But what truly completed the look was the plastic tiara resting comfortably atop her head. Dan held his arm out to her and the music began to play.

"_We would've broken all the rules because you would've come upstairs to see me, and I would've been dressed to the nines, makeup done, veil on my head, and I would've seen you in the mirror. I would've turned around and put my hands on my hips, shaking my head and laughing. And then I would've held them up, swayed back and forth a little and said, 'So?' And you, my dear writer, would've lost your words."_

"_I have no doubt in my mind that that's true. But I would've let you know somehow that you were the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. Then, I would've kissed you on the cheek so as not to ruin your makeup…"_

"_And I would've turned to press my lips to yours."_

"_Well, you're just full of surprises, aren't you?"_

"_It's your fantasy just as much as mine."_

"_So, then what?"_

"_Then, I would've shooed you out of the room and you would've taken your place next to Nate and the priest." _

"_You would've walked excruciatingly slow."_

"_I would've made you wait."_

"_Because you'd know you could."_

"_And as I walked toward you, I would've thrown up my arms and laughed at the sheer madness of Blair Waldorf and Daniel Humphrey: husband and wife."_

"_I would've given you an oh-so-serious glare."_

"_Then I would have arrived right in front of you, placing my hands gently in yours. And I would've said, 'Daniel Humphrey…"_

"Alexander Archibald, I will love you with everything in me…"

"…_for the rest of my life because you are everything I have ever wanted..."_

"…and everything I'll ever need. I know there will be moments where things are tough…"

"…_but I promise to never give up on you because you have never given up on me. You make me strong, brave, fearless…"_

"…and from this moment on, I dedicate my life to reminding you every day just how truly perfect you are for me…"

"…_and how utterly grateful I am that you have saved me from my dark side.'"_

"_Well then, I'm sure I would've laughed nervously and said, 'Who let you go first?'"_

Alex smiled and turned to the crowd of people in the church, "I mean, not only does she look beautiful, but to talk like that? Audrey Bass, I am so proud to call you mine…"

"…_but the greatest part about that is that you don't really belong to anyone. You are independent, funny, smart…"_

"…you're all the things that people say when someone asks them to name qualities of their perfect mate. And the only thing that has to do with me is that you have honored me with a position at your side…"

"…_So, I just want to say thank you, Blair Waldorf. Thank you for taking a chance on us…"_

"…for taking a chance on me. And I promise you, from this moment on…"

"…_you will never regret loving me because I know I will never stop loving you."_

"_And the priest would have said…"_

"By the power vested in me by the laws of the state of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

"_And you would have been mine."_

"_I'll always be yours."_

End.


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